“So do you even eat food at all…”
“Seriously are you bulimic?”
These are all texts I’ve received from an anonymous text app called Sarahah.
When I first heard of the app I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until my friends started sharing it I decided to make an account. Never did I think I would receive such cruel and hurtful comments.
The app, Sarahah, was originally created as a way for employees to provide honest feedback to their employers. However, the developers saw an opportunity to reach a new market. The developers started marketing the app as a way for friends to connect and to, “Improve your friendship by discovering your strengths and areas for improvement.”
Sarahah is meant for people to leave positive or constructive comments, but what I received was far worse than what I ever expected. I was vulnerable to the new app. I continued to post the link to my Snapchat and continued to get more comments, except this time it took a dark turn.
“You lost so much weight you look like a skeleton. It is not healthy and it is not cute.”
I was lost for words. I have been struggling with my body image since middle school. I always saw my self as fat and not as pretty as other girls at my school. This led to decisions I am not proud of. During the first two years of high school, I started to feel confident about my self for the first time in a while.
Nothing to worry about right? Junior year was different though. I slowly saw my self fall back into bad habits. I wasn’t eating.
I never consulted with anyone about my habits. I didn’t see it as a problem at the time. I also didn’t think people noticed my weight loss but apparently, they did and thought saying it maliciously through an anonymous app was the right way to do it.
Stop anonymous apps and bullying
Over 25 percent of adolescents and teens have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or the Internet. By hiding behind a screen the bully has more vocal power than they would in person. Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider committing suicide.
People don’t think before they act. They don’t think their words have consequences.
Many people don’t speak up when they are being bullied online. According to StopBullying.gov, there are multiple signs to look out for from your friends and check up on them if they exhibit:
- Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.
- A child exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
- A child hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
- Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
- A child starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
- A child becomes withdrawn or depressed or loses interest in people and activities.
If you recognize there has been a change in mood or behavior in your friends reach out to them and ask questions to learn what is happening. Don’t just assume that it’s not a big deal. Being there for someone makes the situation easier for them.
Once I finally told my friends what had been going on they were there for me 24/7. They made sure I was okay and didn’t let it get to my head. They reminded me that I am beautiful just the way I am. Because the app is anonymous it is hard to go to the school board and report anything. If you feel that it is serious report it. Check on your friends because you never know what they are going through.
Road to self-love
After receiving many more painful comments I knew I had to delete the app. It was easy to just delete the app but the thoughts still lingered in my head. It was not easy to block out the negative thoughts. It took time to start to love myself again. I didn’t start eating healthy or yoga because of those comments. I knew I was unhealthy and I wanted to save myself.
I started taking yoga classes and eating healthy. Freshman year of college I went to yoga classes every Tuesday on campus. It was perfect for emptying my mind and pushing out the negative thoughts. It helped to focus my self on bettering myself for me and not anyone else.
I would be lying if I said I still didn’t think about it. It’s hard to move past something that really hurt you. I am trying to be better, and it takes time.
Don’t let people’s opinion control you’re life. If you’re struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts don’t be afraid to call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
