There is a storm brewing in the New Residence Hall. Fish and underwear are missing, shaving cream has been sprayed and people have been kidnapped.
The male sophomore students on the third floor have declared war. The east side has a nightly battle of pranks with the west side. Rules have been established and lines have been drawn. Every night they end the war with a friendly but competitive game of “hallway soccer.”
The rules are that each side can kidnap only one member of the other team. The abducted player is then held hostage for whatever is thought a decent ransom. The opposing sides generally end up just swapping victims at the end of the night.
Chris Herbert was one prisoner that did not get so lucky. His team was unable to counter the east side’s attack and he was left bound in the shower for nearly half an hour.
Steve Nield was taken hostage as a payback after the east side was dominated in the competition. His hands were tied behind his back with duct tape and he was then dropped off on Eastern College’s campus and left to walk home in only his boxer shorts.
The east and west sides have rarely been able to call a truce. The first time was to initiate a freshman member of the soccer team. Chad Matzelle was captured and dragged upstairs. His number was shaved into the back of his head. He was then taken to the soccer field and four cartons of eggs were thrown at him. Matzelle then had to walk home also in only his underwear.
The south hall of the NRH was also attacked with water balloons jointly by the east and west. Sean Allen’s fish, Scar, was found missing late Monday afternoon. Allen stated authoritatively, “we want Scar back.”
The NRH is a buzz with rumors of what will happen next, though authorities have said that the mischief will soon be under control, and the perpetrators will be dealt with accordingly.
