Becoming a full time parent in the United States can be one of the most difficult jobs a person can take on. The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 mandates 12 weeks of unpaid leave.
After those 12 weeks of unpaid leave, mothers usually have to go back to work or lose their jobs. They then have to figure out how to work full time or in some cases be a full time student while balancing late night feedings and diaper changes.
In addition to balancing the daily challenges of parenthood, mothers in this country have to worry about maternity leave and the benefits that they and their baby can receive.
For young parents, who are sometimes still in school, it is hard to be surrounded by peers who hardly understand the high cost of living, let alone the high cost of raising a child. Cabrini has some new parents who are students or employees. Here’s how they do it.
Full-time student
29-year-old Mallory Matheny began her college career thinking it would be a long time before she would have to worry about changing diapers.
After graduating high school in 2004, Matheny did not get started on the college track right away. However, she had plans to graduate in the spring of 2016 with a degree in social work.
On Aug. 29, 2015, those plans changed when she gave birth to her first son, Frankie.
“With an infant, it is very difficult to juggle everything,” Matheny said. “He does not sleep through the night, so it’s very hard for me to have to wake up, find time for studying and homework and even find time for myself and my own relationships.”
Matheny works full time as a server and expeditor at Applebee’s. She lives with her boyfriend and Frankie less than five minutes away from her immediate family.
“I am extremely fortunate to have my family around to babysit and take care of him while I’m working or at school,” Matheny said. “I love knowing that Frankie is in the hands of people who love him when I can not be there.”
However, not all new parents are as fortunate as Matheny is when it comes to childcare.
Many new parents are forced to send their little ones to daycare due to full time work schedules. The cost of childcare alone can be much more expensive than most people would ever imagine.
According to Pew Research Center, in the state of Pennsylvania, the cost of full-time infant care is between $9,000-11,999 annually.
Additionally, Pew Research has also found that working mothers pay a substantially greater amount for child care than non-working mothers.
In the United States in 1985, families with working mothers paid an average of $87 per week for childcare. Fast-forward to 2011 and the price rose more than 70 percent, forcing families to pay an average of $148 per week.
Full-time employees
Cindy Ikeler is the head men and women’s swimming coach as well as the director of aquatics and safety here at Cabrini.
Ikeler and her husband, who also works full time, gave birth to their first child, Austin, this past July.
With two full time work schedules, Ikeler and her husband have had to send their son to daycare five days a week since September. Ikeler wishes there were better systems readily available to her, such as on-site childcare.
“Working on a college campus and keeping the hours that I do, I think there should be a way to do this,” Ikeler said. “There are many college students who could gain a lot of experience working in childcare.”
During the heightened point of her team’s season, Ikeler will sometimes work 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. multiple days a week. With these hours, Ikeler is often not able to see her son for two to three days a time.
“Unfortunately, I am not in the position to work part time and neither is my husband and we cannot live just off of one salary,” Ikeler said. “On-site childcare would benefit us in so many ways, the most being the ability to check in and see my son during the days and not feel like I am missing so much.”
Ikeler believes even discounted childcare would be enough for her and so many families in this country.
“It is so unbelievably expensive,” Ikeler said. “But also so very necessary.”
Ikeler is not alone in facing the struggles of childcare in this country.
According to Pew Research Center, about six-in-ten, or 62 percent, of parents with infants or preschool-age children say that it’s hard to find childcare in their community that is both affordable and high quality.
Pew Research found this to be true across all income groups stating that most working parents with annual family incomes of $75,000 or higher say their young children are cared for in day care centers or preschools, while those earning less than $30,000 rely more heavily on care by family members.
Thomas Southard is the director of the Wolfington Center here at Cabrini. He and his wife Jess have a nine-month-old son, TJ.
Jess works for Johnson and Johnson where on-site childcare is readily available.
“On-site childcare is an amazing benefit,” Southard said. “The childcare we get from Johnson and Johnson is not subsidized by the company, but it is vetted and overseen by them. The childcare provider is professional and amazing, and we’re so happy with them.”
Southard said there are several conveniences that come along with on-site childcare including easier pick-up and drop-off, as well as the ability for Jess to stop by and breast-feed their son throughout the day.
“Every facility has multiple lactation rooms, and an occupational nurse who schedules them,” Southard said. “When Jess needs to pump, she has a private, scheduled area to do so. Although this is required by law, many places simply offer a private office, a supply closet, or some other space; at Johnson and Johnson, they’ve committed to making sure their mothers are comfortable.”
Southard feels his wife’s workplace is almost like a built in community for new parents.
“When we get nervous, as new parents often do, my wife can stop by and see how things are going,” Southard said. “My wife works with other parents in the daycare, so they can discuss issues, concerns, ideas and parenting.”
In addition to childcare, maternity leave is an issue for so many mothers in the United States.
According to the Huffington Post, America is the only developed nation in the world that doesn’t guarantee paid maternity leave for new mothers.
Despite the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 guaranteeing 12 weeks of leave to new mothers, it is only granted to those working in places with 50 or more employees who have worked at least 1,250 hours at the same place of business for over 12 months.
Ikeler had a very positive experience with maternity leave, but greatly accredits that to the flexibility and accommodations of her direct supervisors.
“They really worked with me to establish a maternity leave schedule,” Ikeler said. “It worked best with what was needed of me at the time of my son’s birth and directly afterwards.”
Recognizing that in other countries some moms are guaranteed 14 weeks of leave at full pay, Ikeler believes that America should be working much harder to benefit and support new mothers.
“It’s nice that your job is “secure” for 12 weeks under FMLA,” Ikeler said. “But it’s hard when those 12 weeks aren’t automatically paid and you have to first use up all of your sick and vacation time.”
Ikeler took off eight weeks rather than 12 due to the school year and swim season starting up shortly after she gave birth.
“12 weeks might seem like a decent amount on paper,” Ikeler said. “However, having just experienced what it’s like to become a new mom and to care for and bond with your infant, 12 weeks seems like nothing and goes by so quickly.”
What parents’ benefits do other countries give?
Other countries are much further along in the benefits that they give to new moms and their families.
The Huffington Post found that in the United Kingdom, those who have worked at the same place for at least half a year have job security for up to a year of maternity leave. They receive paid leave at 90% of their pay for six weeks, and about $200 for the next 33 weeks.
Additionally, there is paid paternity leave, offering new dads up to two weeks of paid leave, plus another 26 weeks if their partner returns to work.
Southard believes the United States should take on similar policies.
“There is a lot of focus on moms,” Southard said. “I’d really like to see us move in the direction of supporting the entire family.
At Cabrini, Southard was able to take vacation, sick and disability leave to take care of his child and wife. However, there is no policy in place for paid maternity or paternity leave.
Southard said his wife received a total of 20 paid weeks and was encouraged to stay home, take care of herself, her son and bond with her family.
For lower income families, such as Matheny’s, benefits are much more difficult to manage.
“I had health coverage because of my pregnancy but six weeks after having Frankie it was discontinued,” Matheny said. “I don’t make nearly enough money to afford the plans that are offered, but I make too much to get assistance again.”
Matheny also receives checks from a program called Women, Infants, and Children, (WIC), which provides her with the means to afford formula and healthy foods for her baby.
“Systems like these have helped my transition into motherhood more manageable,” Matheny said. “I’m extremely grateful that my son is able to get full coverage and assistance.”
What should the U.S. do for parents?
So, is there anything America could be doing right now to give greater support to mommies and their little ones?
Ikeler believes that creating an environment in America that is supportive of all moms, especially working ones, would be enough of a help for new families.
“In this country, working moms may often feel that they are working “against” something,” Ikeler said. “There is also a certain pressure to “choose” between being successful in your career and being successful as a mom.”
Ikeler believes that hearing how other countries support their mothers can be very discouraging.
“It seems that other countries really celebrate and encourage motherhood,” Ikeler said. “Whereas here it could be seen as more of a burden or at least something complicated to deal with in the work environment.”
Although it may seem to difficult balance it all, with sometimes little benefits or support, motherhood is also an extremely rewarding experience.
“I’ve never been more encouraged to not only reach my goals, but surpass them as well,” Matheny said. “I always figure out a way to pay the bills and I am passionate about my career goals and that’s something I want my son to see growing up.”
With new goals to graduate in the spring of 2017, Matheny also plans on receiving her Masters in Social Work and even hopes to continue on to receive her doctorate.
“I have learned not to set a time limit on things because life has a strange way of messing with it,” Matheny said. “I love my life right now and going back to school with a five-month-old at home has given me a part of my identity back that I was fearful of losing.”
Matheny, like so many other working parents, simply hopes that her son is able to look back and appreciate the life he was provided with.
“I hope he stays happy and healthy,” Matheny said. ““I also hope one day he can read this and realize how hard I worked for the both of us.”
I am a former college swimmer (Colgate) and current FMLA attorney. I became a mother of twins in law school. I came across this article in a google alert I’d set up. It is so important that people in all stages of their lives recognize the need for better parental leave policies. Better policies make for healthier parents and children. I applaud your focus on this relevant issue.