Are You A Kissing Fool?

By Abigail Keefe
January 31, 2002

Katie Reing

Set the scene to a crowded party on campus or possibly a bar. It’s 2:30 in the morning. You’re with all of your friends and you just finished off what seems like a case of Natural Ice. What do you do now? With one too many in your system, a hook-up may be the next on the list of activities for the evening.

The term “hook-up” is defined commonly as a physical sexual encounter that doesn’t necessarily develop into any further relationship. Hook-ups commonly occur at parties, dances, or in co-ed living arrangements. The term defines modern day romance for our generation, is everywhere. Usually influenced by alcohol, a hook-up could be just that and at times may develop into a typical college relationship, continued hook-ups.

According to a report by the Institute for American Values on college dating, campus dating life has dwindled down from a love story to singles only. Also, relationship choices have begun to boil down to hooking-up, hanging-out, a full-fledged commitment or a very distant forth placed dating scene. “Dating does not really exist,” said Renee Daniels, a 2000 graduate of the University of Notre Dame. “Either you participate in random hook-ups or you are in a ultra-serious relationship. There is nothing in between.”

In a study held by the Independent Women’s Forum, 91 percent of women believe there is rampant hook-up culture on their campus. “I believe random hooking-up goes on all the time on this campus. At some point in time though it gets old and you actually want a real relationship,” junior Bern Hazel said. How do you term a real relationship though in college? The average college student just wants to have fun and well.hook-up!

So what’s the deal with all this hooking-up? Most people consider it normal to hook-up with people whenever the situation seem s fit. It’s just harmless kissing after all. Who is to say there is anything wrong with a simple kiss? At times a kiss turns out to be a little a more than that and the repercussions can range from a broken heart to the evitable “walk of shame” home the next morning. Keeping this all in mind, we must ask ourselves then, where is this coming from?

Problem here is that according to census figures from October 2000, colleges are enrolling 100 female students for every 85 male students and the gap continues to grow. This decline leaves men in control of the dating scene and allows them to be very passive when it comes time to talk relationships.

Pia Nordlinger, author of “Daughters of the Sexual Revolution,” said, “Trouble is, hooking-up generally follows drinking. In a boozy stupor, keeping your eyes open is tricky. Surprisingly, most girls, while defending the practice of hooking up, expressed concern about alcohol consumption. Several girls mentioned that the problem with booze is that it leads to hooking up.”

But women shouldn’t be concerned. They are not the only ones who feel this way. “Even though I don’t really drink, from what I have seen it seems like alcohol just gives you that extra push to try to hook-up with someone you might not have approached while sober,” junior Laval Pinckney said.

In fact most Cabrini students stated that various intoxicated hook-ups with the same person usually progressed into a relationship labeled “hooking-up.” “Every relationship seems to start out because of a drunk hook-up. Not saying that you only like the person when you’re drunk, but sometimes the hook-ups lead to a relationship between the two of you,” junior Kristen Luft said.

If the atmosphere is good and the timing is perfect then the kiss is bound to happen. But sometimes feelings get in the way. Alcohol has a tendency to do that to people. “I think alcohol affects the hook-up depending on whether or not you want the hook-up or if it’s a last resort,” junior Mike Rennie said.

At times random hook-ups are just that, random hook-ups. For the most part hooking-up is just kissing but when a little more is involved sometimes feelings get hurt and hearts are broken. Both sexes expect a phone call within a few days if all went well. So what happens if it doesn’t? “If she’s cute, you have to keep in touch, if not, you deny it like it never happened. And everyone knows that’s the truth,” senior Tyquine Wilson said.

What happens though when your random hook-up turns into a sleepover? This changes the whole story. Picture this, you and your hook-up partner decide that one of you will be staying the night in the other’s bed. The night goes fine and in the morning one of you is faced with the “walk of shame” home.

The term, “walk of shame,” however is not too be taken lightly or is it? Originally the walk of shame was defined as the walk that women did back to their room after spending the night in a male’s room. The idea is that you walk with your head down in shame, hence the name, “walk of shame.” Modern times have told us different though. ” I don’t want just anyone sleeping in my bed. I don’t like random hook-ups or sleepovers. I like to save that for someone special,” senior Ricky Cruz said.

Times have changed, however, our generation finds nothing wrong in coed sleepovers and the name “walk of shame” is found to be quite humorous. “I think the name ‘walk of shame’ is really funny. I am not going to do anything I am going to regret so that it is considered a walk of shame home,” junior Stacey Gregoretti said. “The awkwardness the next day is the worst though. I have seen people go as far as to not go to class, the cafeteria or even the Wig Wam just to avoid contact with that person. I think that people sometimes don’t realize what they are doing because they are so drunk and end up questioning why they hooked-up the night before,” Gregoretti said.

“People tease one another about walking home in the morning because it’s funny. I don’t think it’s anything personal, it’s all just a big joke,” Luft said.

With all this kissing going on some may blame it on alcohol, while others say it’s simply because we reside on campus. A lot of people had boyfriends or girlfriends before they came to college or did at one time while here then broke up and hook-ups are just a way to start over. “I think that after being in a relationship for so long, sometimes random hook-ups are a good way to meet new people,” junior Meg Chipman said.

But what if you’re looking for something more then hooking-up and hanging-out? According to the report, out of the 1000 college women interviewed, 63 percent said they would like to meet their future husbands in college but on the other hand, half said they were not ready for a serious relationship now.

The fact is that women outnumber men on this campus and kissing a cutie is not uncommon. Whatever your reason or walk, just make sure you don’t go out without your galoshes and are caught being a kissing fool.

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Abigail Keefe

Abigail Keefe is a Cabrini College student studying communications, enjoying her time in Radnor, Pennsylvania. Abbie loves working for the school newspaper, the Loquitur, and is also passionate about everything that the communication field has to offer.

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