When first setting foot on campus as a student, one of the most evident realizations one has is the sudden freedom that they gain. These freedoms range from eating whenever and whatever, skipping classes without their parents having to know and of course, the freedom to slide between the sheets virtually whenever the time feels right.
Professor Ian Scott thought back to his personal philosophies of sex when he was of college age. “To be totally honest, it was probably about the same for most guys my age then,” Scott said. “Sex had been a big taboo growing up and all of a sudden there it was out in the open – the “sexual revolution.”
Throughout the years, sex has become a more commonly talked about topic.
“The more I have matured, the more important the ‘intimacy’ part of sex has become,” Scott said. “Just ‘sex’ is a pretty meaningless thing – fun at the time but if that’s all it is; it feels empty afterwards.”
Young relationships often rush into intercourse and ignore getting to know the intimacy of their partner.
“To me ‘intimacy’ is what really counts and that can be had with or without sex. I don’t have a problem with ‘casual sex,’” Scott said. “If by that we mean ‘hooking up’ etc. as long as there’s honesty, as long as it’s fully consensual and as long as the people involved don’t feel diminished and degraded by it.”
Although the ‘hook-up culture’ is popular now, young people may be missing the real meaning of sex.
“But I do believe that ‘casual sex’ isn’t really great sex – that requires a degree of intimacy that you just don’t achieve in a casual hookup,” Scott said.
Most students on college campuses believe in casual relationships and it is not particularly unheard of for college students to gain reputations of sleeping around.
Other college students do not believe that sex is an act that should be taken lightly and practiced without recognizing the value of it.
“Sex is one of the major issues of life,” Scott said. “Our bodies are designed for sex and when we are young our sexual drive is at its peak.”
Scott discussed the importance of accepting body image for what it is in order to have a good relationship with someone else.
“For young people to talk openly and honestly about it is incredibly important. To me, the shame that has been associated with sex in the past is absolutely wrong,” Scott said.
Often students are embarassed or ashamed of being sexually active, when in reality, it seems to be more commonly accepted.
“Sex is a natural act and when it involves consensual adults and there is honesty and a desire to give, as well as receive pleasure, I think it’s a beautiful thing,” Scott said.
Although relations can be viewed as beautiful, without the right stability, they can be dangerous to a vulnerable mind.
“There are powerful emotions involved in sex and we need to be able to talk about how we feel and do so without being shamed into silence. And if there aren’t “powerful emotions” involved, there’s a serious problem there in my opinion,” Scott said. “If all we feel is a physical sensation, I think we’ve lost sight of what great sex is about – intimacy and the sharing of our souls and not just our bodies”
However, it seems valid that most people would agree that unwrapping a piece of heart- shaped chocolate can be way less regrettable than unwrapping a human being from their clothes.
Regardless if everyone else on campus is getting laid this Valentine’s Day, take a step back from the love boat that is about to set sail and think about some own personal values before sliding between the sheets of someone that might cause some regret.
Knowing one’s self is the first step to any healthy relationship anyway.
