In the midst of chaos after a week of division in our country, I witnessed the unity that should always be felt in America. The annual Walk to End Alzheimer’s was just held in Philadelphia this past weekend, and I felt the love and hope that I wish to feel every day in this country. As we embarked on a two-mile walk, I looked around and saw nothing but determination and beauty. People were smiling at one another and sparking up conversations with the stranger next to them, which created a sense that everyone was in this together.
About six years ago I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s disease. Really I had lost her before that; she was physically there but mentally had no recollection of anything or anyone. Watching her suffer and witnessing her brain slowly shut down was one of the hardest things I endured as a child and into my young adulthood.
Her death brought inexpressible sadness, but I could not help but also feel like it was somewhat of a blessing in disguise. She was finally at peace. I did not open up or talk to my family about the pain we were all feeling deep down. Sometimes I still struggle to bring up questions about my grandmother to my mom, who only wishes she could speak with her mother one last time. At this point though, I have realized staying silent will only make things harder. I changed my course of action and decided to finally let my voice be heard. I realized the only way I can truly make a difference at this point is to speak out and to advocate.
Three years ago when I learned that there was an annual walk in Philadelphia to raise awareness and support for the cause, I knew that was where I belonged. I have walked twice since losing my Mom-Mom and I do not plan on stopping until a cure has been found – hopefully within my lifetime. The walk has shown me that I am not alone in this fight, I am not the only one who has seen a grandparent suffer, I am not the only one who wants to find a cure.
According to ALZ.org, there are approximately 270,000 Pennsylvanian citizens age 65 or older currently living with Alzheimer’s disease. That number is expected to rise about 18.5 percent by 2025, leaving approximately 320,000 Pennsylvanians suffering with the disease.
In the United States as a whole, there are approximately “5.4 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s, an estimated 5.2 million people are age 65 and older, and approximately 200,000 individuals are under age 65 (younger-onset Alzheimer’s).”
I walked for the second time to not only honor and remember my grandmother who could not do that for herself but also for those other 5.4 million people unwillingly losing their memories day by day. As I walked and observed, I encountered kindness, heartache, hope and love.
As the walk began, I stood on a chair along the sidewalk to get a better view and scanned the vast crowd of people. As the people walked past me waving their flowers, smiling and cheering, all I could think to myself was wow, every person here has a unique story. I wish I knew all those stories, but I did what I do best: aimed to tell a story though the photos I take. That goal was accomplished beyond my highest expectations. I can honestly say that I took the two most powerful photos I have taken in my lifetime.
First, a woman leaning over to embrace her husband as she was starting the two-mile walk with him, pushing him in his wheelchair. The man, straight-faced, clutched onto a blue “Promise Garden flower” in one hand and an orange flower in the other. The blue signifying that he was currently living with Alzheimer’s disease, orange to signify that he supports the cause. In her left hand she gripped a yellow flower, indicating she is his caregiver.
As I lifted my camera and chose to take a photo in this moment only to show the world why we need to advocate, I was overwhelmed and brought to tears. I looked down to see my mother in tears as well. The pain I felt, we both felt, for the woman who no longer had the same husband she once loved, and for the man who no longer could be the one to take care of his wife like he once did, broke my heart. At the same exact time, the love I saw in that moment was completely indescribable. As I clicked the shutter, I knew that I had just captured the strongest photo yet in my lifetime.
The second photo, a young girl about four years old sits on her grandmother’s lap as her father pushes the wheelchair for the two mile journey through Philadelphia. The young girl smiled and waved a blue “Promise Garden flower” for her grandmother, looking so proud watching the petals spin in the wind.
Pulling my camera to my face in that instant was again so tough for me. In that moment I realized I was once that young innocent girl, unknowing of the fact that my grandmother was suffering from the inside out. I smiled at that little girl, but on the inside, my heart was breaking for her, knowing that as she grows up her grandmother will eventually never remember her name or why she is in the room visiting. I am pained when I think about all the children who will be in the same position I was in, walking into their grandparent’s room only for them to say “who are you” and eventually not even be able to communicate. Again after taking this photo, I knew I captured such an important moment.
As much pain as I felt, that feeling was quickly overshadowed by hopefulness. The feeling of unity, knowing that every single person walking was there for one common goal – to end Alzheimer’s disease – was so powerful.
Alzheimer’s disease is often silenced by the media. It is a disease that many people feel uncomfortable talking about. I felt uncomfortable many of the times when I walked into my grandmother’s room where the silence often suffocated me as I stared at her soft often resting face wondering what I should say, knowing deep down that it did not matter much because her brain was locked away and unable to comprehend anything.
Sadly, as time passes and I grow older, my memories become less and less vivid of the times we shared together. I cherish the stories my family tells me about how much she loved me and loved us all. I am grateful for the Walk to End Alzheimer’s because of how much strength it instills in me each time I participate.
“Held annually, in more than 600 communities nationwide, the Walk to End Alzheimer’s is the world’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research,” according to https://act.alz.org/. The Philadelphia walk had the largest walker turnout compared to all of the walks in the country. At the Philadelphia walk alone, over a million dollars was raised for the Alzheimer’s Association. I could not be anymore proud to say I was one of those who donated, photographed and walked this year to advocate for change.
Video by Emily Rowan
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Emily,
You never cease to amaze me! I couldn’t be more proud to walk side by side with you each year. Thank you for your dedication. Mom mom would be so very proud of you.