I’ve always had a fear of performing in front of a crowd. Whether it was public speaking or playing piano, I always had this pain in the pit of my stomach everytime I was the center of attention.
Performing with my band was always a terrifying thing for me. There hasn’t been a time where I’ve gotten onto a stage and didn’t get sweaty palms, cold fingers, or start shaking on top of the piano keys. The constant fear of messing up and fumbling the lyrics made me not want to perform at all. Performance anxiety controlled my life.
Every time I stepped onto a stage, I could see everyone with blank faces, just staring at me, waiting for me to forget a note.
It was difficult having a love for music, but a hatred for crowds. I wanted to share my music with others, but didn’t want to be judged for it. I wanted to write songs and have others understand the story, but didn’t want anyone to read the words. It was a double negative that I just could not seem to get over.
The whole “picturing the audience in their underwear” situation just did not work for me. In fact, it was almost impossible to do.
The way I was able to tame this fear was by just pretending that no one was listening to me; in my head, I truly believed that if no one could hear me if I were to mess up, then I wouldn’t be messing up.
According to WebMD, “to help you overcome your fears and shine on stage, on the field, or at the podium: Shift the focus off of yourself and your fear to the enjoyment you are providing to the spectators. Close your eyes and imagine the audience laughing and cheering, and you feeling good. Don’t focus on what could go wrong, instead focus on the positive. Visualize your success. Avoid thoughts that produce self-doubt. Practice controlled breathing, meditation, biofeedback, and other strategies to help you relax and redirect your thoughts when they turn negative.”
Controlling my breathing was a part of the whole process. If I focused on my breathing and rhythm, it helped me stay in sync with the song and it would help me forget that I was even performing at all.
I never really “overcame” performing live, but I did find a way to tame my anxiety to a point where it was not ruining my performance. It is easier to do better when you’re not the one putting yourself down; you are your own worst critic.
Being good at an instrument is kind of a demanding already, putting all of your time and effort in order to make sure you have the song perfect, and just performing in front of people in general. Both are very taxing so musicians should give themselves credit for being brave enough to face crowds.
