Revenge: how marvelous it is

By Jessie Holeva
April 23, 2009

In movies it’s the characters you love to hate who are the masters of the deceitful art. But, what about your conscious and the karma police? Isn’t the sweetest revenge to simply live a happy life?

I’ve been told this since the dawn of time and religiously followed it, well as much as someone could.

At age seven I gave someone a friendship bracelet and had it rejected, talk about a major road bump to my first grade field trip.

Did I freak out and throw a desk, much like one of my elementary classmates who shall remain nameless? Did I scream and stomp my feet?

No, I did not. And right now it wouldn’t make a difference if I punched that heartless first grader in the face. Despite me reflecting on it, it wasn’t a life changing experience.

That’s the thing. You only live once and who should you answer to? Everyone else? No, because in the long run their happiness won’t mean crap to you. This goes out to those who have always taken the passive road.

People that ask “friends” for a life saver only to be unknowingly served up the one from the bottom of a dirty backpack, while they devilishly smirk and revel in the act.

Don’t let yourself be treated like some crappy carpet and allow some nobodies to drag their muddy feet and muck you up. And passive people, everybody is a nobody.

You are who matters. If someone is mean to you for no reason, don’t take it. I’m not saying flip for every little thing, because then you’d be a hot head. But, the perk to hot-headedness is not being messed with.

Did a guy screw you over by hooking up with your best friend? Did some witchy woman scream at you in a crowded place for no apparent reason? Did your roomie break your glasses and lie about it?

The more important question is did you deserve it? Are you just as bad or do you make a real effort to be appealing?

I’m a firm believer in karma. What goes around comes around.

Hello, Justin Timberlake made a song entitled this with Britney Spears as his muse and she’s definitely got hers.

Okay, maybe “Cry me a River” was the song with Brit Brit in mind, but for literary purposes pretend what I said prior to be fact.

There are so many different forms of revenge. Maybe you gradually dump their shampoo down the drain all the while praying it’s driving a special somebody mad.

Perhaps you go to a cell phone store and add in the nemesis digits in all the phones so all potential cell phone buyers call it while testing out the model cells.

Maybe you play it old school and slander their name, which can be fun but does make you look like the bad one (gossip never looks flattering on any pair of lips).

Maybe you began reading this because you are desperately seeking revenge and have been pushed to the limit. If so, sorry. Sure, I too would gush to read some well-concocted backstabbing methods of getting even but that’s not the sole purpose of this text. Think of these words to be enlightenment.

Passive peeps, you are not alone. As for the aggressors, we’re all on to you.

I too, am passive and it’s quite ironic for me to be dishing out such strong advice seeing as I’d be the last to follow it.

I’m all talk, planning well-thought-out and cunning words to say at the right moment yet bite my tongue.

I blame my parents; those values of letting things go has caused me a lot of grief. Then again, I can look at myself and know that I’ve done the right thing. Sure I kick myself for chickening out, but that’s the way it goes.

My last words: passives, it’s okay to leave on the rose colored glasses if it makes you feel better. Just remember not to put yourself out for those who wouldn’t do the same for you.

Antagonists, those passive aggressive types you tease and can’t be happy for due to your overly obvious jealous streak, they’re on to you. You just aren’t worth the confrontation.

After all, you are a mere nobody. I bid you good day, not that yours will ever be until you learn to focus more or working on yourself and less on criticizing others.

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Jessie Holeva

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