My parents were divorced when I was very young. I can’t remember the day my father left. I don’t remember how I felt or even if I cried. It is weird how such a significant moment in your life can just be erased from your mind. Sure I can remember bits and pieces of time I had with him, but before a few months ago I could not even remember what my father looked like or how he acted.
When I was nine years old my mother remarried. This man became my father. When I was sick, he is the one that helped my mom take care of me. When I had my brief stint with field hockey, he came to every game to cheer me on. When I had trouble with school, he is the one who helped me out. He even taught me how to drive and helped me get my first car.
My mother and my step father raised me to be the person I am today. They taught me that I could do anything I put my mind to. They were there for all the good and the bad times. They were there for the first breakup, my first speeding ticket and even through the whole college selection process. They were there through it all.
Then a few months ago my life changed. All of a sudden out of no where my birth father decided to call me and confuse the hell out of my life. I can’t say that I never wondered about him but it was something that I didn’t think about often because I had a father figure in my life. He called to say that he wanted to come visit me. What was I supposed to do? I had to say yes, I mean I had to see my father. Didn’t I? I mean most people who have an opportunity to meet their birth father would right? So I said sure and set up a week that he could come and visit me. The first time I saw him was very weird. I looked just like him. I could not even believe he was standing in front of me. He stayed for four days and we hung out and tried to learn about each other. We had to learn everything. He left promising he would keep in touch.
Months passed with no calls, no letters, no emails, no nothing. Sure I was upset but there weren’t many expectations so I didn’t expect much. Then just two weeks ago he decided to call and act like he was interested in my life. I can not even explain to you how mad I was. If this man, who is supposed to be my father, was interested in my life he would have been there for the last 20 years. Instead he wasn’t. He decides to just pop in and out whenever he felt like it. I was honest with him. I told him that I did not need a father but that we could be friends. Friends however keep in touch.
The truth is that this man knows nothing about me. He doesn’t even know that I ever played field hockey or what it was like to pick a college. He doesn’t know that I am awful at math. I would be surprised if he even knew what my major was. He doesn’t check up on me like my stepfather does or ask how my day at school was. Instead he just picks up the phone when he feels like it. It is just not good enough for me. I hate to say it but my life was a lot less confusing before I met him again.
My point is that this man that married my mother when I was nine has been there for the last 12 years and I know he will be here whenever I need him. He is my true father no matter what my birth certificate says.