Hey mambo, mambo Italiano. After the passing of an “Irish” holiday we felt the need to take a little of the spot light, even though St Patrick was born in Italy. So we thought we would take a minute to tell you why it is so good to be Italian.
Olive complexion allows us to stay tan in the winter and golden in the summer compared to pasty in the winter and burnt to a freckled crisp ending in a nasty peel in the summer. Not to mention the fact that we have beautiful blonde, brown and black heads of hair and a Mediterranean mystique to our features.
When we are not in the kitchen cooking the best food ever, we are keeping our houses spotless or sweeping the front stoop. There are statues, rosaries and crucifixes all over the house to resemble a small replica of a church. We take our faith seriously, which is why we have shrines in the back yard to Mary and St. Francis. Do not forget the oversized gold crosses that men wear around their neck or the famous tattoo of the crucifix on their arm.
Speaking of gold, it is a necessity in the Italian wardrobe. We could not leave our house without being covered in an extraordinary amount of gold, diamonds or anything else with a high price tag attached. Jewelry is nothing without the perfect outfit and shoes. Versace, Armani and Dolce & Gabbana could not be wrong. Dressed to the “T” for every occasion, Italian women are known to never leave the house without their heels and lipstick.
Besides our expensive jewelry and our exquisite taste in fashion we like good-looking men with fast cars and lots of cash to spend. Italian men are so sexy; they do not call them “Italian Stallions” for nothing.
Who better to have as a “good friend” than an Italian? We are loyal until the day we die and if double-crossed your body will be found in the bottom of the Hudson River “swimming wit da fishes!” All in all we think it is pretty safe to say we are the best.
