Many students have had to face the inevitable break-up. Some are worse than others, but for the most part people keep their distance from their ex. But that does not mean they have resentment towards them. Having a civil relationship with an ex is definitely difficult but something that it absolutely possible.
Every relationship is different, meaning a couple functions together in their own way that works for them. But the fall out is key to how the relationship will be after the break up. If someone in the relationship cheats or lies to their significant other, odds are the couple will not be able to keep a civil relationship after the break up.
“I thought if we were to ever break up it wouldn’t be a horrible falling out, we would be able to be mature about this situation,” sophomore business major, Anise Miller, said. “Then he stopped talking to me for another girl out of now where.”
This goes for any kind of relationship or friendship. Hurting someone’s feeling or breaking their trust can cause a lot emotional damage for that person. Trust can always be gained back, but it takes a lot of time and effort for the trust to be rebuilt.
The best thing to do is to give that person time after hurting them emotionally or break that person’s trust. It has been said that time heals all wounds. After the person has time to reflect and forgive that is when a civil relationship can be worked on.
“Going on four years since the break up,” Miller said. “I don’t think it would be awkward. I’ve moved on and so has he. I don’t think there’s a point to hold a grudge.”
Some people are different and do not see a point in letting that person back into their life. Especially if they cheated or lied, it is hard to let that person who hurt you so much back into ones life. Even if that person does find their way back into ones life, it would be wise to always keep ones guard up. Just because they hurt their ex once doesn’t mean they will not do it again.
Kassandra Nieves, a sophomore psychology major, thinks that because she was cheated on, she does not want her ex back in her life.
“I can be civil, but I couldn’t be friends with someone who betrayed my trust and who took me for granted,” Nieves said. “I’m happy with my decision that I made about keeping him out of my life and I’m very happy we’re no longer together.”
It is not easy coming back from a painful break up. Most of the time a person is not losing just a boyfriend or girlfriend, but also a best friend. Something to hold on to is that if there is a desire to become friends or civil with an ex is that its possible. If they truly want that person back in their life, be patient but persistent and maybe they will get that person back.
