Importance of having quality before quantity

By Sharon Kolankiewicz
October 21, 2004

Cecelia Francisco

People change in college. Throughout my life and especially in high school, I was always told that people who were in my life would change. I was also told that people who I had been friends with throughout high school may not be friends with me forever.

As usual, being a very young and naive high school teenager I did not want to believe this idea. I have also learned that people in the beginning you thought were your friends end up ditching you. I have not talked to or gotten together with many of my friends from high school.

In my senior year of high school, we all talked about remaining friends forever and being there for each other, and unfortunately I believed it.

Today I have learned that is not the case.

It seemed as though I had always been the one reaching out and putting the effort to keep our friendships alive. Whenever they were going through hard times, I was the one who they called at 2 o’clock in the morning, and I would drop everything to help them.

Basically I wanted to be a good friend. However, when I needed moral support from them, there was always excuses and basically they never had time for me. It was not until this year I realized that friendship is a two-way street. All of the individuals need to give and take from each other.

In my two years at college, I have learned the value of being yourself with others, especially with your true friends. I have also gained a deeper insight on the definition of friendship. Earning good grades, getting involved, and determining a future are all important aspects of college.

However, I think friendships are what help us through the most, not only in college but life. Without the support and encouragement of friends, what else is left to fall back on? When I am feeling down and out due to class, work, or other stressful life events, it is a comfort knowing I have friends to fall back on for emotional support.

I have developed close friendships with people here at Cabrini. My friends here have been there for me in my times of need more than the friends I grew up with all throughout middle school and high school. I value each of my friends here, but I am disappointed in my friends from home who do not want to offer the same effort as I have put in.

My belief is that true friends will stick with you through thick and thin. I think the true colors in people show as the tough stuff in life occurs more frequently. When you are in need, they will be there to back you up without any excuses.

Also, they are willing to put effort into the friendship and not always receive but give as well. Of course there will always be arguments and struggles. I believe these two factors help determine who is a true friend and who was never really a friend. The tough stuff in life can also build character in each person.

Another lesson I have learned is true friends accept you and your personality.

Obviously, people want to be friends with you because they admire your personality and potential in life. They also give you confidence to be yourself with others as well.

I have learned how to be myself, and if some people do not like my personality; it is does not bother me. I already have my friends who care about my personality and accept me for me.

If you cannot be yourself with your friends, then are they really your friends? I am not going to put in the effort to pretend to be someone I am not, just to impress others.

Some people believe they need a large group of friends to be happy. The number of friends you have should not be a priority. As you go through life you could start out with 50 so-called “friends” and end up with four true friends.

I believe there are “friends” who come -and- go and end up being acquaintances. Then there are the true friends who stay with you throughout life and accept and admire you. Again it should not matter how many friends you have. When it comes to friends and friendships, quality is more important that quantity.

Posted to the web by Cecelia Francisco

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Sharon Kolankiewicz

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