Growing up, I never thought that in my 20-something years, I would use an app to find guys.
When I was younger, all I ever wanted to do was find the love of my life and that I hoped I met him during school. I wanted the love story that my parents had, which was boy meets girl, they fall in love and start a life together. But as I continued on throughout school, I never was able to find that special someone.
As college began, I started to lose a little hope that I would ever find someone that I could see myself being with. With all my friends around me getting into serious relationships, I felt alone. Then, my best friend and roommate convinced me to try out the new Tinder app. It wasn’t until I started getting matches that I felt my confidence go up a couple levels.
According to Business Insider, an estimated 50 million people use Tinder a day. Knowing that, I thought to myself: how many creepy guys are on Tinder? Apparently a lot!
It all started with Adam. At first, he seemed really sweet and was very nice. We talked and he seemed to really like me. So stupid-me decided to give him my Snapchat after only talking to him for a couple hours. Note to self: do not give a guy your Snapchat name after only knowing him for a couple of hours.
What I thought was going to turn into something nice and sweet quickly spiraled down into a hole. He thought after knowing me for only a couple of hours that it would appropriate to Snapchat me an explicit picture. Then he had the nerve to ask me to take my shirt off and send him a picture. Not only that, he would continue to call me sweetheart and babe— mind you, I only had known him for three hours. Of course, after he tried to get me to send pictures, I finally blocked him on Snapchat.
After my interaction with Adam, I decided that maybe Tinder was not for me. But after being off Tinder for a couple months, I felt myself drawn back into the dating app.
This time, with a new outlook and plan, it started with me just swiping for fun. I told myself that they would not be getting any of my social media accounts or my phone number for a couple of days.
Then one day, as I was sitting in my friend’s room talking, I got the ding and a notification that said: “Congratulations! You have a new match!” At the time, I didn’t think about it. The next thing I know, I am getting a notification, telling me that I have a new message from Jack.
Taking another shot at talking to another guy, I thought that maybe I dodged a bullet this time and finally found a non-creepy guy. As I started to get to know Jack, I started to maybe see something within him. Looking back now, I realize it was a naive thought.
We continued to talk for a couple of days. It didn’t start to get creepy until the fourth day. At this time, I was going to give him my Snapchat and possibly my number.
Our conversation started off normally, just like all of our conversations. Then it started to get really interesting. He began asking me if we could hang out.
As I sat there contemplating his question, he then asked me another question: “Are you heavy?”
I replied that I was and asked why he was asking, since my weight never really bothered me. At this point, red flags were going off in my head and I started to panic a little. I’ve been bullied by guys about my weight and if this guy only swiped right just to make fun of me, that wasn’t cool.
But the next question he asked took me by complete surprise. He asked me if I had a tummy. Now, being an overweight women, I was a little confused. Wouldn’t a guy know that heavy girls have stomachs?
When I replied yes, I then got the shock of my life. He then asked if he could play and jiggle my stomach. I was in so much shock at this point that I didn’t respond. All I did was delete him off Tinder as quickly as possible.
After having these experiences with Tinder, some of the things that I learned were:
One: Never give a random stranger guy your social media accounts until you’ve been talking to him for a few days.
Two: Make sure that your friends know you’re talking to a Tinder boy or Tinder girl.
Three: Never feel like you need to go on a dating website.
Four: Always be careful who you talk to. Not everyone is a creep, but there are a lot of creeps out there.
Five: You do you. Never ever feel like you need to be in a relationship because your friends are in one. Being single is the best thing that can happen. Enjoy your freedom and have fun.
When it comes to dating, whether it is virtually or in reality, remember these five pieces of advice and you will be fine.
