I do but I don’t

By Joana Cainglet
February 19, 2020

Newlyweds, Jonathan and Rosana Cainglet, about to travel to their reception with their son, Jed. Photo by Jonathan Cainglet

You may have heard of the expression ‘the family the prays together, stays together’ but how true can that be? I am a practicing Catholic, and I have been since the day I was born. My parents put my brother and me through Catholic school and worked hard every single day to get us there. We go to mass every Sunday. I volunteer for service projects, events, and liturgical ministries and I have worked at my parish since my sophomore year of high school. Let’s just say that my religion and my faith is a big part of my life. 

Personally, I believe marrying someone with the same religion isn’t important at all, which is funny because my religion means so much to me. The reason why I say that is someone can be the same religion but don’t actively practice. Some may be raised a specific religion but do not believe in it. Nowadays, I think society is pushing others in a different direction. I went to a Catholic school my whole life, but some of my classmates thought to go to mass every weekend wasn’t “cool.” Many were confused as to why I pray or why I want to create a relationship with God, and I realized that it’s because society contradicts what religion class is teaching us. It takes one with strong beliefs to go against the grain.

According to the Pew Research Center, about 67 percent of those married in 2014 are absolutely certain that they believe in God, and 73 percent married believe in heaven. However, only 43 percent of them attend a religious service once a week, and 32 percent attend only a few times a year. On the other hand, 69 percent of people who are absolutely certain that they believe in God are divorced/separated.

Mary, the Mother of God, and baby Jesus pictured on a stained glass window at St. Eleanor Parish. Photo by Jana Cainglet.

The data shows that about the same amount of those who believe in God are married or divorced/separated. This further decreases the importance of marrying someone of the same religion.

In the United States, there is about a total of 2,236,496 marriages and a marriage rate of 6.9 marriages for every 1,000 people in the population, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports. However, there are 787,251 divorces and the divorce rate is 2.9 divorces per 1,000 population, according to the 45 reporting states and Washington D.C.

Those who are of different religions are included in the bible. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, it says:

To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her;

and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband.

For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise your children would be unclean, whereas in fact they are holy.

If the unbeliever separates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace.

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

I am a practicing Catholic, and I don’t believe marrying someone with the same religion is important. To me, what’s more important is finding someone who has the same values and beliefs. Because of the similar rates of those with the same faith, divorced and married, the family that prays together, might not stay together. 

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Joana Cainglet

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