The beginning
I was a senior in high school when my mom first told me she had breast cancer. In that moment there were so many thoughts rushing through my mind. I didn’t know how to react. It was Jan. 18, 2016.
According to World Cancer Research Fund, breast cancer is the most commonly occurring cancer in women and the second most common cancer overall. There are over 2 million new cases in 2018. 1 in 8 women or 12.4 percent will develop breast cancer in her lifetime.
You look at that percentage and think that it’ll never happen to you. You never understand how hard it is until it happens to your family, I just never imagined it would.
When my mom first told me she had stage two breast cancer, she told me not to worry, that she was going to be okay. Luckily they caught it early and she could start chemo therapy right away. My mom is one of the strongest people I know. Even though she told me she was going to be fine, in my mind, I was freaking out.
She didn’t tell many people when she found out. She didn’t tell her coworkers or post anything on Facebook. She even hid it from me and my sisters for a while because she didn’t want to scare us.
Early stage
In the early stage you couldn’t even tell she had breast cancer. She went to work, went to the gym and went on with life.
It wasn’t until March that signs of chemo therapy were starting to show. One of the first signs was hair loss. She started losing her hair in March. At first she was embarrassed. She wore hats and tried to keep her long hair as long as possible. It got bad a few months in and in May she finally shaved it. I knew this frightened her, she couldn’t keep it hidden forever.
The day she went to shave her hair she was also going to buy a wig. It was March 7. She thought that it would make her feel more comfortable, as if life was normal again. I remember that day. I missed the first half of school to go with her to have her hair shaved. Then she got her wig. She tried to pick something out that resembled her real hair.
It was like she was trying to hide. I know where she was coming from: all this was all scary and she wanted to go back. I couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind in that moment. I remember she cried a little. I never asked why. I don’t know if it was because she no longer had long hair anymore or if it was just all hitting her at once that she had cancer.
I didn’t tell anyone for a long time. I didn’t know what to say nor did I want to worry anyone, because she told me she was going to be fine.
Around May, she started getting bedridden. She couldn’t go to work, let alone get out of bed. She grew weaker as the days passed by. Her fever began to spike as high as 104. She took multiple trips to the ER. Since her immune system was so weak she contracted severe pneumonia.
This was a low point in her journey. It affected all us. We didn’t know what to do but wait. She wasn’t allowed to leave the house and really be around anyone in fear of getting sicker.
I have never been more scared in my life. The amount of times I cried out of fear is endless. I didn’t want to think that anything bad would happen, but it could.
The middle stage
There were times where I didn’t want to go to school because I was scared to leave her home alone. I would come home from school with food because she couldn’t get out of bed to eat. She only had the energy to get out of bed when she had to use the bathroom. She could barely stand in the shower or brush her teeth; she was so weak.
I don’t know exactly when I started telling people my mom had breast cancer. I know I told my boyfriend and my best friends right away because I knew they could help me the most. In school my peers noticed I was upset. Classmates I never really talked to noticed and asked if I was okay. Most times in that situation I said I was okay and just tired. I didn’t want to explain what was going on, out of fear of crying in front of everyone.
Only one time did I go to my guidance counselor at school to talk to her about it. It was a day so bad that I could barely focus on what was happening in class I just had to leave. I told her why I was upset and we talked for a while. I told her there was so much happening with school work and being worried 24/7 that I was going to explode.
It felt good to be able to just talk about it but nothing had changed, we were still in the same situation.
As the school year started to end, my mom started to get into better shape. She was on her sixth chemo therapy sessions and things started to look up. She had gone back to work and no longer had pneumonia. She was able to leave the house once again. I was scared that she wouldn’t have been able to go to my graduation, but she did.
After many months of chemo therapy sessions and doctor appointments, this became the norm. Having cancer had finally set in. It wasn’t necessarily good thing but we went on with life positively now. My mom soon got tired of the wig. She was beautiful with and without the wig, and she finally wasn’t afraid to go out in public without it.
I was happy to see my mom happy again.
The ending stage
As the summer ended, so did the chemo therapy sessions. A few weeks after I had left for my freshman year here at Cabrini University, my mom was done chemo therapy and was officially in remission. It was Sept. 13, 2016.
She was not considered cancer free yet though. According to National Cancer Institute, if you remain in remission for five or more years, some doctors may say that you are cured. However, cancer cells can remain in your body for many years after treatment.
We try to be involved in many breast cancer awareness activities that happen around us. During the summer we went to Living Beyond Breast Cancer Reach and Rise: Yoga on the Steps. The event was in Philadelphia on the art museum steps. It was a great event and raised $378,802.
Today, my mom has been in remission for over a year now. She goes to work everyday and continues to live a great life, even after all she has gone through.
Every 19 seconds, someone in the world is diagnosed with breast cancer. Let that sink in. It can happen to your family that easily. That’s why it’s so important to go to the doctor to check for signs. You never think it can happen to you until it does.
