by Vince DeFruscio
staff writer
Watch out for that microwave
Hey you there! It’s time to hand in your aluminum underpants! It is now illegal to wear aluminum underpants in Colorado according to House Bill 01-1221. Apparently, aluminum underpants are a way to shoplift goods without getting caught by electronic detectors [Denver Post, 7-1-01].
Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk.
Lucille J. Mandeville, 45, of Lincoln, R.I. has watched too much television in her lifetime. During a school board meeting in August, she grabbed her colleague Patricia A. Iannelli, 51, by the nose. Mandeville proceeded to twist Iannelli’s nose a la “Three Stooges” fashion. Mandeville was quoted as saying, “What’s the matter? Did you get your little nose twisted out of joint?” [Providence Journal, 8-18-01].
So, like, do we cuddle now, or what?
Residents of Inari (in Finnish Lapland) need to have more sex. The town is located above the Arctic Circle, where temperatures can fall below -49 degrees. Last year only 69 babies were born in Inari, down from more than 100 in 1995, 75 babies are expected to be born this year. $3,000 was offered to the mother of the first baby born last year [Reuters, 9-4-01].
Stop doing what?
Kenyan President Daniel arap Moi urged all men in his country to abstain from having sex for the next two years. Moi feels as though this would cut down on the occurrences of AIDS in his country [Globe & Mail-Reuters, 7-12-01].
Must be the sushi.
A 28-year-old woman from Yorii, Japan, stole software and videotapes from a neighbor by carving out a 16-inch hole over a two-week period between their walls. The woman was then able to climb through the hole in the wall to her neighbor’s apartment.
