Buried in the back pages…

By Kenneth Baumbach
October 11, 2001

Stuck in a Rut

A man in London has been a compulsive digger for years, according to neighbors. In order to satisfy his needs, William Lyttle, 71, has dug extensively all over his property of many acres. He once dug a hole that was 50 feet straight down before the man decided he was bored and cemented up the hole. However the man in his latest expedition, which the London police say is probably the first time his digging has gone past his own property line, Lyttle’s digging obsession caused the street in front of his home to collapse in on itself. Lyttle lives in a huge 20-room home that would be worth over $1.5 million, that is if it was in good repair.

Guaranteed to Be There

Blockbuster’s guarantee- to- be- there might not apply in this case. In a crime spree held this past spring in Edmonton, Canada, shoplifters hit and robbed several Blockbuster Video stores. However the thieves weren’t exactly after the money. The only items missing from the Blockbuster’s were all 81 copies of Sean Connery’s movie “Finding Forrester” and (which is even more bizarre) 12 copies of Adam Sandler’s movie “Little Nicky.”

Nature Calls

The South Carolina’s Department of Motor Vehicles has recently pared services, which has been attributed to creating much longer lines. The department has also privatized its janitorial service, which now makes an appearance only once a day. In a recent incident in Spartanburg, S. C., an elderly man had an accident while waiting in line to renew his driver’s license. Neither he nor his adult daughter, who was waiting with him, wanted to lose their place in line. He had tried to ignore his “urgency” as long as he could but in the end his bowels won, with no one volunteering to clean up the floor. Lines snaked around the mess for hours. However the man and his daughter stayed in line. The office’s deputy officer commented, “You can’t keep someone from getting a driver’s license for incontinence.”

This Pillow is Really Soft.

Some kids will do anything in order to receive attention. For most kids the need to doing strange things and crazy stunts is a passing phase. For others however, never growing out of this phase has become a life long quest for recognition and leads to some dubious notoriety. A man named Australian Graham Barker, every day since the year 1984, has carefully collected and preserved and cataloged his own belly button fluff. His current total of fluff is a whopping world record of 0.54 ounces. His goal one day is to have enough so that he can use his treasure to stuff a pillow.

It Comes with the Job

Police in England recently agreed the pay Detective Brian Baker the equivalent of “several thousands” of dollars to compensate him for the snoring habit he acquired from allegedly being around the evidence room for many years, inhaling the dust from seized marijuana plants. His problems, including a whistling in his nose, were said to have caused Baker marital disharmony.

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Kenneth Baumbach

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