Bullying is more than just a phase

Bullying is a word that is used far too often in today’s society.

Growing up, a parent never wants to hear that their child is being bullied.

You wish that it would never happen to you. Emotional, physical and cyber, bullying varies, and happens too often.

Bullying can become an extreme issue for children as they grow up. You hope that as you get older people would come to their senses and leave you alone realizing that bullying others is not worthwhile anymore.

Bullying doesn’t always stop though. It can calm down and not be as bad but it is almost always there. Even when entering college, it is still there. Bullying is not something you see as much of because you are not really looking for it.

I have actually witnessed a group of students making fun of someone on campus for their disability, and it makes me sick. Bullying is not always just about making fun of someone. It is about bringing the victim down, it is about making them feel that they do not matter to others and making them feel that they can never truly belong to society.

Why bully? What satisfaction do you get from it? Does it make you feel powerful or good about yourself?

A lot of the bullying happens being closed doors, in dorm buildings. Ganging up on others not only brings a person down, but you make them feel unwanted by anyone which can really take a toll on someone’s self esteem.

Growing up, people were always telling me to ‘shut up’ and change who I was so that others would be able to tolerate me. Listening to what others had to say for so many years, I tried to shape who I was to make them happy until I realized that it was taking away who I was as a person and who I wanted to be.

When I got to college I was hoping that it would all change. Sadly, my hope was wrong at first. I did not have a great first few months coming into college. I never felt wanted by others and I was always being told to act a certain way so that others would be okay being around me. That made me feel very bad about myself, and did not help my anxiety at all. I went home all the time and always regretted coming back to school because I did not like the feeling of being so alone and excluded. I did not understand why they did not like me.

Here at Cabrini University, they offer counseling services where you can discuss your situation if you are feeling depressed, anxious, or just need someone to listen. Scheduling an appointment and going there was probably the best choice that I could have made for myself. During the sessions, I could speak confidentially about my problems and everything that made me feel the way I did. They helped me see that what I really needed to do was to go out and find people who would accept me for who I am and for the person I had become.

Having a place to go and talk about my problems made the world of a difference. It’s not just a place for having problems, if you feel the need to vent or talk they are a great place to go too.

“This (having a solid counseling center) is incredibly important because the consequences — whether someone is being bullied or is a bully — can be depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depending on the individual’s role, PTSD, eating disorders and obesity,” Dr. Claudio V. Cerullo said.

Cerullo is the Founder of Teach Anti-Bullying. He is a bullying expert and has spent many years touring the country in order to give speeches about bullying, preventative measures, and how to put an end to it. His hope is to end bullying all together.

Once I put myself out there and found really good friends, college became everything I thought it would be. Now, I love staying on campus. Although the bullying has subsided, I still continue to use the counseling services provided at Cabrini because, the thought that my friends may not like me comes back at times. Being teased and bullied all of those years can still make you feel a certain way, but you have to remember that there are good people out there, you just have to look for them.

One thing to remember is that there is always someone to help with what you are going through, no matter what it is.

When being bullied and pushed over the edge, people sometimes feel that there is no way out. If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please call 1-800-273-8255 or visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. There are always people who care and a place you can turn to.