Having the ability to officiate a person’s love of their significant other through marriage is a basic human right that has not been granted to all citizens. A Cabrini alumna’s was topped off with sand and ocean waves in 2011 but was missing one vital piece that officiates a marriage in the eyes of the state. A marriage license. So why was this document absent? Because this ceremony was between two women.
Mary Adam, a 2005 graduate and communication major, and her wife, Brandie, have shown their ability to weather tough times in their journey toward matrimony. By being members of the growing homosexuality community, these women have fought for their basic right of acceptance within the law and community. Some people are not willing to take on the challenge with a fear of being shut down, but Adam and her wife went running at the opportunity with hope gleaming in their eyes.
Adam met Brandie in 2007 through a mutual passion for softball. After four years of dating, the two realized that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.
Nothing, not even the fact that Delaware (the location of their ceremony) and Pennsylvania (where they are residents) did not acknowledge same-sex marriage, was going to stop them. So in Aug. 2011, they decided to put the government’s preferences to the side and tie the knot at one of their favorite locations.
“We were ready to commit to one another and didn’t want to wait for some law to approve it. So in front of our family and friends, we committed ourselves to each other on the beach in Fenwick Island, Del.,” Adam said. “Same-sex marriage wasn’t legalized at the time however, so we decided to call it our ‘commitment ceremony.’ It wasn’t technically recognized but we both still wore white gowns and it was like a normal wedding.”
The couple’s home state of Pennsylvania currently falls with 33 others into the category that does not recognize gay marriage. Discrimination against the The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community in the Keystone state has had its fair share of hits regarding inequality with employment opportunities and public accommodations. These inequalities are however slowly being lifted and the big picture could change for the better in the upcoming months.
Adam and her wife are just one of the approximately 640,000 same-sex couples, according to the U.S Census, in the United States that want to unite their lives together through matrimony. Although only 17 of the 50 states in America recognize same-sex marriage, the number of people within those states equals roughly 43 percent of the U.S population.
In June the American Civil Liberties Union is bringing a suit in Pennsylvania court on behalf of 23 people suing the state to overturn the state’s ban on gay marriage. This ban has been present since the Defense of Marriage Act installed it in 1996. If the law is passed, more than half the states will have passed laws permitting gay marriage. Pennsylvania is currently the only north-eastern to state to not recognize same-sex marriage despite the large LGBT community.
Being a Pa. resident, Adam said “It is kind of a shame that we are on the wrong side of history. They don’t consider the act of marriage to be a basic human right and in return just strip it away. We [the LGBT community] are human and we would like to get married.”
Adam and her wife did not have to hide behind the laws for much longer though. Delaware legalized gay marriage in 2013 and the stars aligned for the couple. Del. hosted their beach themed nuptials just two years prior and Adam had recently received a job in Wilmington. With her employment under the state, they could now be legally recognized as a wedded couple and decided to make their marriage official.
On February 14, 2014, the couple obtained the long-desired piece of paper that would authorize their matrimony. “We took this time as an opportunity to renew our vows since we consider the wedding on the beach to be our anniversary,” Adam said.
Adam and her wife constantly face obstacles to have their adoration accepted; yet they continue to stay optimistic about their future.
“We struggle every single day but we are proud for who we represent. I may be gay, but that doesn’t mean that I am not a good person.”
In May of 2014, Pennsylvania legalized gay marriage.
