Reality is a joke

By Ryan Mulloy
April 10, 2003

Jamie Knobler

WARNING: Ryan Mulloy has a short temper and might as well just be called “The Last Angry Man at Cabrini.” Read the column and you’ll know why.

What happened to television? I remember the days when I could plop down in front of the television and catch a good sitcom or drama, then simply fall asleep. I can’t do that so much anymore, and I’ll tell you why.

Reality shows have ruined television for me completely. I can’t change the channel without finding some regular Joe Nobody trying to pick a wife or become some sort of wannabe pop sensation. It’s embarrassing, and I even think it’s one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Honestly, take a look at what’s on your television or what has been on? In between the 57 “Law and Order” spin-offs, there’s some regular loser in a reality series about something totally laughable. The concepts are ridiculous and, let’s face it, rip-offs of something else, or only tweaked a little bit.

One of the biggest shames I have ever seen for more than five minutes is “American Idol.” Cut me a break. You perform, you get voted off by viewers, just after being ridiculed by some judges, but if you win, you get a big recording contract. What ever happened to Kelly Clarkson, anyway? She had that song, then she appeared on “American Idol” again.

And it’s all based on talent right? Oh sure it is. If I would have voted, I’d have voted for Clarkson on her looks, then I’d have forgotten who she was in a matter of seconds. I love shows that take shortcuts through hard work to give some random person something important.

And there was even one for wrestling. Those of you who know me must know I’ve written a column here and there about wrestling. “Tough Enough” just made me hate the people they put on it. People pay their dues to get where they want to go in any industry, but on a show like this, you learn it all in a crash course like studying and writing a paper the night before its due.

In this issue, we have a story about reality television and the craze with marriage reality shows. These shows, in my opinion, make America look ridiculous. Honestly, what looks worse than the desperate human giving their life away to a complete stranger on television, all for the sake of fame?

It’s all either a rip-off or some kind of scam. Look at any wedding show and tell me that they didn’t have something to do with the “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” That’s about as a deep as a shot glass.

What makes me smile the most is that when “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” was over, two lives had their fame, but went through hell. So how does a network fix this mistake? They don’t. They don’t pick up a show that takes effort to make. Instead they take Johnny Construction Worker, clean him up, and pretend he’s rich. Even the teaser commercial for “Joe Millionaire” had disaster written all over it.

And I didn’t even touch on the crap that’s not on anymore. The worst of the worst had to have been “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” They put a bunch of rejects in a jungle in Australia or something and had them voted out by viewers at home. Who dubbed Melissa Rivers a celebrity? To tell you the truth, I didn’t know who half those people were.

My beef is that there are people who are trying to make a break in the entertainment or television fields, and they can’t break through the glass ceiling because there’s some moron with a big desk and a window putting random words together to make the next reality disaster. I think they pick them out of a hat, to tell you the truth.

In short, reality television makes me absolutely sick, and is probably the lowest form of entertainment on television, just under the crap they allow on the WB or UPN.

posted by Jamie Knobler

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Ryan Mulloy

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