We cannot leave Halloween behind

By Michael Kazanjian
October 25, 2001

It doesn’t get much better than Halloween. Why? Because there is no other day in the year when making an ass out of yourself is completely acceptable. Better yet, people give you candy to do it. This year, with all the scary anthrax letters floating around, there has been talk of canceling Halloween. It can’t happen. Halloween must go on, no matter what. Halloween is for the kids, the kids who can’t even spell anthrax or Osama bin Laden, it’s their day, let them have it.

Don’t get me wrong; I do think that parents must be extra careful when sorting through the candy this year. There’s nothing wrong with that, my parents did it every year. So, that aside, let’s talk about the fun.

I needed, every year, to have the best costume. It’s who I am, what I do. I definitely had a few clunkers through the years, but there are a few that stick out in my mind. 12 years old I was Howard Stern. 12 years old, what were my parents thinking? I had the frizzy wig, the nose was a gift from God, and the sunglasses. Word to the wise: Never wear sunglasses on Halloween night; I must have wiped out 30 times.

At 13 I decided to go out as John Lennon, my hero. This was a bit tougher to pull off. I had to get the Beatle wig and find an outfit that was very “John Lennon.” But that wasn’t enough, luckily I found a pin with “Give Peace a Chance” written as big as day on it. The response I got from the baby-boomers was terrific.

Then one year, when I was 14 (OK so I went out until I was 14, cut me a break), I wore the Halloween costume to top all costumes. That’s right, on Halloween night I was Santa Claus. I must’ve blown 70 bucks on this outfit, but it was the best 70 bucks I ever spent. I won’t lie to you; I was a pretty hefty teen, so wearing that Santa outfit really worked out for me. I was the star of Oct. 31, 1993. Little kids could be hear screaming “Santa Claus!, Santa Claus!” from 10 blocks away. The parents who opened the door for my motley crew couldn’t stop taking pictures of Santa in October. So many camera flashes went off that night that I was legally blind by 9 p.m.

Steal this idea; consider it my gift to you. I guarantee only the greatest things for you and your Santa outfit. Now that you have your award-winning costume picked out, it’s time to hit the streets in search of the “King Size” candy bar. Now I don’t think that there is a universal “best candy” to get on Halloween, but if it were up to me to choose I’d have to say the “King Size Snickers” is my personal favorite.

One of the greatest feelings as a kind was graduating from the small plastic baggie to the pillowcase. The pillowcase never knew it was intended for such great things. It’s amazing how much this cotton sack can hold. If you’re able to fill that sucker, and carry it, you’ll easily have enough candy to put you through Christmas.

As you can see Halloween is a day not to be left behind, it’s a day to have a good time and the weeks following are meant to gain a few extra pounds. Did you know that more candy is sold for Halloween then any other holiday? Let’s not let all that candy go to waste. Trick or Treat?

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Michael Kazanjian

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