10. Reading all of Shakespeare’s plays for the ten millionth time.
9. Trying to teach his dog how to be AP compatible.
8. Getting a personality (this one was from Meghan Merkel)
7. Locking himself in a room and trying to make his Palm Pilot levitate by staring at it for hours on end.
6. Getting on the next “Survivor” and being the first one kicked out because of his “Richard-like” dancing.
5. Spinning records in nightclubs under the moniker DJ JZ Jupiter.
4. Changing his home address, e-mail address, and phone number so no one at Cabrini can contact him when things start going wrong.
3. Concocting plans to counteract a Mike `80s Butler military coup of the communications center.
2. Learning how to re-enact Civil War battles with Dr. Joylon Girard who is also on sabbatical.
1. Praying to the heavens that no one finds the bodies buried under his desk while he’s away.