Toilet literature

By Staff Writer
December 8, 2005

“Me and my friends do not read the Loquitur because there is nothing interesting to read,” are the words of a Cabrini student exercising her freedom of speech. It is no secret that some people think that the Loquitur is boring. I must admit that I was one of a few who thought that nobody reads the Loquitur, but I recently found out that people do in fact read it, just in awkward places.

Just when some people thought going to classes with pajamas was crazy, there is a new trend going on, even crazier. Yep, some people like to keep themselves busy while sitting on a toilet seat with a copy of the Loquitur. Go in a bathroom today and you are most likely to be greeted by a copy of the Loquitur lying next to a toilet seat.

Now, I know stories in the Loquitur are very interesting. We don’t always have time to sit and read a newspaper, so we tend to carry our newspapers wherever we go and read it when we get a chance. But reading in the bathroom?

What will be so important to read that I will carry a newspaper to the toilet? “The secret to winning the lotto,” “How to make a girl fall in love with you in seven minutes.” I can’t think of anything that will make me read while sitting on a toilet seat. Not even if I had to write a quiz and I had to get a good grade or I will be forced to withdraw.

Guess I was wrong when I thought that it was only parking that was a problem at Cabrini. Reading places too? I thought the library had enough places.

Some people are using this trend to their advantages. Advertisements are being put in the bathrooms because one is assured to reach an attentive audience. Gone are the days when people only went to toilets when they “had-to-go.” People are now spending extra time in bathrooms. If you are wondering where your friend is, take a look in the bathroom, he or she is probably reading the Loquitur’s editorial.

To prove that this is not just some crazy trend I am making up; I was sitting with my informant (To protect my source’s identity, I will just call her BigJ.) She knows everything that happens on campus. She keeps me informed with everything around campus. She also loves reading the Loquitur. One day we were sitting outside on a lovely Friday morning when she suddenly said, holding a copy of the Loquitur, “I will read this when I go to the toilet.” I finally felt happy because, as usual, BigJ gave me the information I needed. But she did not explain why she wanted to go and read in the toilet, aka restroom, instead of just going to the library. BigJ did not explain, and I was too chicken to ask her to explain. Good sources are hard to find these days; I couldn’t risk upsetting BigJ.

Well, I am having headaches thinking about it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot understand why people read in bathrooms. Could this be a new Cabrini tradition that I haven’t yet been informed about? Or is the culture gap too wide? Maybe I am the crazy one. I am confused.

I am the type of person who is easily influenced. I love imitating other people. I do not let a trend pass me by without trying it out, but the “reading in the toilet trend” will have to pass me by. Guess I am still old fashioned, I still prefer the library.

Posted to the web by Shane Evans

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Staff Writer

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