‘Shoobies’ not welcomed

By Christine Ernest
April 21, 2005

As the weather warms up here at Cabrini College, I’ve been hearing the typical little snippets of “I can’t wait until I can go to my summer house down at the shore.”

I grew up at this so-called “shore” and I have never referred to it as being the “shore.” Maybe I’ll stretch so far as saying the “beach,” but I usually just stick with calling it “home.”

I am from South Jersey, not Seaside Heights and not Cherry Hill. They are not South Jersey. When I say South Jersey, I mean that if I lived 10 feet lower, I would be residing in the ocean.

I am from Cape May Court House, and I would like to share a few secrets for all of you people planning on visiting my hometown, or near-by areas of Stone Harbor, Wildwood, Avalon, Cape May, the Villas, North Cape May or Dennisville this upcoming summer.

First off, we don’t really like tourists. Yes, they provide jobs to our area and they are the reason for the majority of our incomes come the summer months. Yet, any local will usually agree that come summer, tourists are the bane of our existence.

The main question is, “How do I know if I’m a tourist?” Well there is a sure-fire test that any tourist will fail unless they truly are from South Jersey. This test consists of only one question, “What is a shoobie?”

I understand that many will not know what a “shoobie” is, so I will give you some tips of how to spot a “shoobie.”

“Shoobies” are the people that cross into the road even when they know there is oncoming traffic. Yes, it is true that pedestrians always have the right away, but this does not give you license to dart out in front of my car lugging your five-dollar-drugstore chair and your gallon-size jug of drinking water that will double as feet cleaner once you remember exactly where it is you parked.

“Shoobies” are the people that will fight to the death for a parking spot even if one is only a few spots down. “Shoobies” are the people that expect you not to look at them funny when they say sub and not hoagie. “Shoobies” are the people that ask where the beach is even when the ocean is in their plain view. “Shoobies” are the people who say you must eat some Mack’s pizza and wash it down with a Lime Ricky in order to fully appreciate the “shore” experience.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, “shoobies” is the local way of saying tourist. I’m guessing this is the first time for many of you to come to this conclusion. I just thought I’d clue you in so when you come to vacation in South Jersey, you’ll understand what those crazy locals are yelling in your direction.

Why would anyone spend their vacation in a town like Wildwood? I’m using Wildwood as an example because that is where the majority of college-age kids spend their summers when they venture down to the “shore.” Why not rent a house in Key West? It’s probably cheaper and you won’t have to deal with the trash and the crime.

There is absolutely nothing advantageous or worthwhile for college-age kids to do in South Jersey. I grew up down there, and I will vouch that you can only play miniature golf, lay on the beach, swim in the ocean or walk the boardwalk so many times before you get completely sickened with how boring South Jersey is.

I’m guessing that many kids just want to party because they think they can get away with it down there or because they’re not crashing at their own hometown. Well go ahead and waste three months of your life indisposed. It doesn’t matter to me if you want to spend your summer getting nothing positive accomplished.

Don’t call me, for I’m not coming home at all this summer, and no you cannot use my “shore” house to crash at for a night because just for the record, “shoobies” are the bane of my existence.

Posted to the web by Shane Evans

Christine Ernest

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