Senior’s last words

By Rosemarie Gonzalez
April 1, 2004

Lauren Joseph

Lately, I’ve asked myself, “What do you want to do with your life, Rosie?” Less than 50 days down the road from today, I will be walking out of Cabrini and never looking back.

I would have already completed my four years of college and should be well on my way to the “real world.” Or maybe not…

Right now, I have this vision for myself in which I am not even worried about not having a job yet. I know that most seniors here are stressing about what they are going to do when they get out of here, but honestly, I haven’t had a thought about working as of yet.

With all of the hardships I have been through this year, putting more work on my plate is the last thing I want. I know that one day I will have to face reality and that I need a job. There is no doubt in my mind about that, but first, I want to enjoy some free time off.

I have been in school since I was four years old and I think it’s time for me to relax and take some time to myself. I know, I know, that I’m only 21 and that I have my whole life ahead of me but I want you all to put yourselves in my shoes for a minute.

Yes, I need a job and yes I know that my parents…or should I just say my mother…will not support me forever. I know that already. I know that I need to grow up and be a woman. Actually, I think I’m pretty grown already.

My point is…I want to go away from this routine that I have set myself in for the last couple of years. I feel as though I’ve never really had any free time. If I haven’t had 19.5 credits of school work to worry about, I’ve had a part-time job, resident assistant duties, took on the presidential role of Latinos Unidos and have been part of the Loquitur staff aside from the other little details that go on in my life.

Also, I have had to deal with loss in my life through the death of my father…Something I will never be able to get over but learn to live with.

Therefore, thinking realistically and starting my career is the last thing I want to do. In my plans for the 45 days down the road from today are to travel and finally getting back home to the people I’ve been away from for the last four years. I miss them a lot and I know that they are people who love me, especially if they’ve kept in touch with me all of these years.

And when I think about it, it is unbelievable how time flies but we have to see that it just simply does and we have to grow up quickly. We learn that we need to be on our own and discover what we want to be for the rest of our lives. Me-I’m just happy I’m living right now. Sometimes, I think about my life 10 years down the road but I just take it as it comes. We can always plan what we want our lives to be like, but who’s to say it will turn out that way?

As we leave our mark here, we all have that fear of having our four years at Cabrini be a waste. We ask ourselves, was it worth it? Did I waste my time? My answers to those questions are, “Yes, it was worth it and no I didn’t waste my time.” I know that sometimes I complain about some petty things that go on around here, but I know that I took full advantage of what I could while I was at Cabrini.

But for now, I just want to live my life. I want to drive cross-country, go around the world and spend time with the people I love. I will not miss the work, the stress or the hard times that I had to go through on this campus, but I will miss all of the real and honest people that I have met here. All of you should know who you are and that you will always be in my heart, even if it does feel like I am leaving you behind. I will not say goodbye to you because I know that you will be in my life forever. I will just say, “I will miss you a lot and I will love you always.”

Posted to the web by Lauren Joseph

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Rosemarie Gonzalez

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