Relationships: Don’t sweat the small stuff

By Ashley Cook
April 19, 2007

In creating a life we want, there are always bumps in the road along the way. There is rejection, turmoil and the feeling that we lack the skill and confidence to really succeed with men.

Have you ever noticed that when we beat up on ourselves and feel badly about our dating situation this sense of dooms tends to stick around, much like a vicious circle that spins out of control?

Each and every time we beat up on ourselves, doubt ourselves or let our fear control us when we want to initiate at any level with men, we enter a vicious circle. This circle is like a black hole that easily sucks us in and leaves us stuck spinning in a circle, with very little levity to get out.

Recently, relationships have reminded me of the old saying “New bottles, old wine.” Women jump from one relationship to the next, but the problem is that it is almost exactly the same as the first.

Just covering up the bottle with a new label doesn’t mean the next relationship is going to be any easier then the last. It’s the “He thinks I’m fat!” and “He promised he wouldn’t talk to her anymore!” Every time I turn around, another girl is begging me for advice about relationships and asking me the same old sorry question “Is this how it’s always going to be?”

Well, I cannot say that I am 100 percent sure I know how a relationship is going to go, but I can say that every relationship needs work from both partners. I remember an important lesson my best friend once told me; insecurities will kill any relationship. So the next time you’re stuck standing in front of the mirror wishing your stomach was smaller or you were just a couple inches taller, go out with your girlfriends, laugh and forget about all of the things that make you feel insecure.

As for all of the suspicions women dream up in their head while worrying, simply work up the courage to ask your partner if your accusations are true.

Hey, maybe you’ll discover that it was actually his cousin that your girlfriend saw him with the other day. You will feel a huge sense of relief when you have confronted your worries and you can move on to worry about the next little thing you can cook up in your mind.

One of the most important lessons a women has to learn in order for her relationship to work; people make mistakes, and they make them often.

No man or woman is perfect, and because of this, women need to learn to forgive their partners and hope for the best. Sure, he said he’d be there by noon, and its already 2, but try to look on the bright side; the reason he’s coming in the first place is to take you out!

Guys would never admit it, but maybe he is the one parading around in his room trying to find the perfect shirt to match his pants.

I think the best advice I could give is to just have fun with your relationship. Don’t get caught in the spinning cycle.

Relationships are always going to have their ups and downs. Not every man is interested in just your looks and if you’re lucky, you can find someone who thinks your little tummy is cute and your height is the perfect summit for them.

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Ashley Cook

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