Missing the best dad in the world

By Rosemarie Gonzalez
November 20, 2003

Lauren Joseph

What is it like to lose someone you love? It’s VERY hard to deal with. Words cannot describe or express the emotions you feel.

Right now, some people are reading this and probably thinking that I’m talking about your first love or your significant other, but I’m not.

Just a few weeks ago, I lost my father to a cause unknown to either my family or the doctors. Antonio Gonzalez was only 48 years old with a whole life ahead of him.

Papi, as I called him, was a hard worker, enthusiastic drag racer, and big Yankees fan and baseball coach. Most importantly, though, he was a great husband and the best father I could have ever asked for.

In being the only female in the family, aside from my mother, I was always considered his “little girl.” He always knew what to say to me and even though he didn’t speak much at times, he listened to me…something not many people know how to do.

He gave the best hugs known to exist and I’ll always remember him bringing me home from school and buying me just about anything I wanted. The material aspect of his love does not take precedence over everything else, but it showed me that he was willing to give me things he never had when he was a child because he wanted me to be happy.

And like anyone else who has lost someone dear to them, I am in a great deal of pain. Most of you who do know who I am and what I am normally like must know that I am not being myself. I apologize for any injustices or mean things that I may have said due to the circumstances.

I truly do love you and I would just like to be there with you just as before. I hope you know that.

The memory of my father will help me to live on and carry out my life the way I used to, but right now, I just need time. By looking at the way he lived his life, I realize that it is short, but that many things can be accomplished if you just set your mind to it.

On the day of his funeral, I gave a eulogy and made a promise to him while I read it. On behalf of my family, I spoke and said, “We will live through his example and be there for others and for each other as a family.” I know that this is the way that he lived and wants us to live. Therefore, I will try to be strong for those of you who need me. Remember, I will always love you.

Posted to the web by: Cecelia Francisco

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Rosemarie Gonzalez

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