Love conquers all in same sex marriage debate

By Jamie Santoro
September 24, 2009

Shannon Keough

What are the ingredients to family? What makes the bond so tight?

People are trying to answer this question everyday that the battle surrounding same-sex couples rages on. I, unlike many others, do not see it as an issue of psychology or values. This is just an issue of love.

I believe that the debate over same-sex parents is merely an extension of the debate over same-sex relationships. The argument against it is built on insecurity and fear of different people. Our country was built on equality. While there have been slip ups, those dedicated enough have always fought for what’s right and the country (most of it) have seen the error of their ways and reformed. I compare the current state of gay rights to the state of African-American rights in the early 1950s or women’s rights in the early 20th century.

Also I believe in 20 years we will look back on this time with the same feelings.

The only experience I have is my own and I was raised by a man and a woman. Looking back, the most important thing that was part of my family was love. There was protection and the means to provide. None of those things have anything to do with gender. What’s more important is that there are figures to give these things.

The major argument against these families is the fear of causing a disadvantage for these children. The truth about life in general is that there is no such thing as disadvantage free. There is something about every person that leads them to challenges. You cannot protect a child from everything. The possibility of hardship cannot stop you from welcoming a child into the world. At the end of the day, the challenge of being the child of a same-sex couple, as in any other situation, is outweighed by the benefits. You are blessed with first-hand experience and an understanding not many people have into that world.

One of the loudest groups against same-sex parents, Focus on Family, is a group based out of Colorado that wants to help “families thrive.” Isn’t discouraging certain people not to have children the opposite of helping families thrive?

Either way they call same-sex parenting an “untested social experiment” and it is “unethical” to subject kids to it. Their sources? Divorce statistics. There is no real solid research on the bad effects of children of same-sex couples so they just use the divorce statistics. All of their research is about children in single-parent homes. Other research states that kids do best with two biological parents. True, but well over 100,000 children, who go on to do great things, are adopted into loving homes every year. It seems like Focus on Family is grasping at straws.

I believe that love is the only thing that has absolute power over all of us. The best part is its an absolute power that we can give into completely. It is no one’s right to make someone feel bad or try and change someone who has done this. You cannot tell someone what to do in life. That only makes the opposite all the more attractive.

There is no way that this world will never allow a man to marry another man that he loves. It may be a while but there will come a day where people realize that love comes in many forms– husband to wife, girlfriend to girlfriend, or parents to children. While what I am about to say is really corny, it is all the more true because of that. Love will conquer all.

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Jamie Santoro

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