Loquitur Dome: The Eternal Debate

By Jennifer Coots
February 1, 2001

by: Jennifer Coots

I’d be wealthy if I had a penny for every time I was in a conversation that went something like:

“Oh, you’re in college!”

“Why, yes I am.”

“How exciting! It must be wonderful to live on campus!” “Well, actually.” I prepare to say the dreaded words. “I commute.”

Dead silence. It’s as if the conversation comes to an abrupt halt. The smile at the other end of the discussion slowly falls to form a fine, straight line. A hand is lightly placed on my shoulder, as if consoling me and sympathizing with the notion that my college career is somehow miserable and empty, simply because I don’t live on campus.

There is a rather humorous misconception that commuters secretly wish to be residents of the colleges they attend. There is even a greater misconception that commuters don’t have as much fun during their college experience as residents do.

Well, my fellow Cabrinians, let me enlighten you with the truth. Driving to and from school everyday is about as much fun as eating soap, but the petty dramas of commuting can’t compare to the shortcomings of living on campus.

Residents, think hard about why you left home to live on campus. Perhaps you left annoying siblings, nagging parents, ridiculous curfews, or dreamed of becoming beer pong champion. Regardless of your reasons, consider your family.

Commuters who live with their parents, rejoice! Not only have you decided not to abandon your family who has raised, fed and clothed you since birth, but you choose to spend time with them while you are able to. Residents, of course, will be unable to spend any quality time upon graduation because the 18-hour shifts they work will haul them away from them forever.

Students have the rest of their lives to live independently after college, and believe it or not, beer pong will still be around. Who knows how long our parents will be around? Sneak another look at their graying hair and take a guess.

Enough of the guilt trips. Let’s think of the logic behind living on campus. Aside from the fact that residents receive happy voicemail messages alerting them of campus events, which are boring anyway, what else exists for the populace?

Well, there is a list of things. For instance, no unnecessary random rules are ever enforced on residents, ensuring unconditional freedom. Oh, I forgot about the recent regulations concerning overnight guests that have been an ongoing struggle between the college and its residents since last year.

Surely residents are receiving adequate nutrition from Cabrini’s two modernized cafeterias, which produce 10 pounds of lard for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I won’t mention the fact that students who miss dinner or who are up late studying starve to death since the cafeterias close exceptionally early.

Let’s not overlook the other delights of being a resident. Such treats include horrific roommates who possess hygiene deficiencies and are regularly inclined to satanic-like mood swings. Fungus-breeding showers, sharing belongings, relying on the school shuttle as an escort, excessive noise pollution, claustrophobia and lack of privacy are among the luxuries.

I admit, I owe some credit to the inhabitants of Cabrini College. They learn the most important entity in life, independence. It wouldn’t be fair to neglect such a huge step in one’s development. Being independent can take its toll on students, especially when parents are paying for tuition, room and board, meal plans, clothing, books, car insurance, pens, pencils, monthly allowances and in some cases, credit-card balances. What a relief that living on campus educates students to fend for themselves in the ever-present rapidly changing world.

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Jennifer Coots

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