by: Mike Butler
During the Christmas break, I did a lot of thinking and brainstorming. I thought back to a previous article I had written last year about wanting the Bible to be banned. I remember people liked the article, but the problem was that no one opposed my view. I recieved no mail objecting to my desire to ban the most important book in the faith of millions of people. I found that disheartening. Afterwards, I flipped around the television and kept hearing about the trouble in the Middle East with the Israelis and Arabs. Apparently they still can’t get that whole Jews and Muslims living together thing to work yet. That’s when I had an idea so radical, it could change the world for the better.
People of the world, we have to eliminate religion from our political and social lives.
Ask yourself these questions? How many wars have been started because of religious differences? How many atrocities in the world have been committed in the name of God or some other god? How much hatred of other people has been caused because of religion? The answer to all three is “too damn much.” And because of all this, I am calling for the complete seperation of religion from the day-to-day functions of our lives.
To fill the void of religion, I suggest we embrace something useful: common sense. When is the last time you heard common sense being the cause of a Middle East skirmish? When was the last time you heard someone doing something extremely stupid because they were inspired by common sense? You probably haven’t and never will.
Sure, religion has done a lot of good things for this world. It gives people hope. It promotes togetherness. It provides a simple guide of what’s right and wrong (although so do The Berenstein Bears). But religion has a darker side that overshadows all of those good points. It promotes stupidity.
Nietzche (“God is dead”) once said that it is easier to do what is moral than what is intelligent. That is why there are so many moral people in the world but so few intelligent people. And since morals come from religion, we can logically conclude that religion promotes stupidity. But if you’re still not convinced, here are some examples.
In Afghanistan, a country ruled by the Taliban which brings its people the strictest Islamic laws you can get without a prescription, the government is up in arms about the frenzy the movie “Titanic” has caused since its recent showings in the nation’s capital of Kabul. Young men who have seen the movie(which is illegal in Afghanistan) are getting their hair cut like “Titanic’s” hero, Leonardo DiCaprio. This has prompted the Taliban religious police (a.k.a. The Ministry of Prevention of Vice and Promotion of Virtue) to start arresting barbers who cut men’s hair like Leo D. I am not making this up, I swear. The Taliban is also responsible for such other laws as women not being able to have jobs or walk in public without being escorted by their husband, brother, or father. The punishment for violating those laws is a severe beating.
In Oregon, a Christian organization got a measure on the Oregon ballot called Measure Nine, which would make it illegal for Oregon public schools to teach anything concerning homosexuality or homosexuals. This is to prevent children from becoming gay, according to the Christians (or one powerful stupid Christian) lobbying for this law. If this law had passed (which it didn’t) it would cost a teacher his or her job if they were to mention anything about AIDS or even Liberace for that matter. All of this because of a book that I want to ban tells Christians that gays are evil (if you’re not going to heaven, where the hell are you going? Wait, I just answered that question).
What do these examples prove? It proves that making superstition (a.k.a. religion) into laws is not very intelligent when you actually think things through. Laws against murder and stealing aren’t religious ideas, they’re common sense ideas. If we didn’t have laws preventing murder and theft there would be complete anarchy and bedlam and the human race would have been dead way before anyone ever thought about having a holy war or inquisition.
I apologize to all those people who practice their religion and beliefs responsibly and use common sense. I have nothing against you. But those who aren’t so responsible with their religion have spoiled it for all of you. It’s just like in grade school. A few kids act up and the whole class gets punished. So until everyone can prove that they can practice their religion and use common sense, I call for religion to be off-limits.
Some people will say that I’m forcing a sort of religion on everyone, a religion against religion. I say that I’m solving a huge problem not only in this country, but around the world by bringing this idea forth. Sure, it throws that whole “freedom of religion” amendment out the window, but I figure that’s no different to how politicians are looking to throw “freedom of speech” out the window as well. It’s funny, but usually the greatest enemies of free speech tend to be people with strong religious beliefs. Don’t believe me? Ask Kevin Smith about all the protestors who wanted his movie “Dogma” banned from theaters. And he’s even a practicing Catholic too!
Back in days of yore I would have burned as a heretic for such an idea. Also back then they drilled holes in your skull if you had a headache and thought the world was flat.