I never really believed in Santa, the thought was nice and sometimes I wanted to but I never really did.
Sometimes my grandmom would talk about Santa and say how he was going to drop off gifts for Christmas. I went along with it and got excited, only because the idea of a big fat man caring so much to give me a gift I really wanted was nice.
When I was younger there were two Christmases I really remember that my family and I receiving presents.
The first one was when I was about five. There were presents all over the dinning room table and there was one huge present in the middle of the table.
Even though we didn’t have a Christmas tree, it was amazing to me to see our table full of gifts; it really felt like Christmas that year. I felt like every other kid did on Christmas.
A few days before then my mom and I were in the discount store and I saw a light pink plastic vacuum cleaner that was fit for a five year old. It was love at first sight.
This vacuum cleaner was my favorite color and I just had to have it. I asked my mom if she could buy it for me hoping that this time she would say yes.
As I looked at that huge present in the middle of the dinning room table I knew it was my pink vacuum cleaner.
Every other Christmas after that was disappointing. I hated coming back to school and people asking what I received for Christmas.
When your young it’s a big deal and you want to be able to tell your friends about your new toys and clothes.
People talked about Santa Claus and how he came down the chimney and left all the presents under the tree. No one had to tell me he wasn’t real.
I didn’t get presents on Christmas and if I did it was only one or two small things.
This didn’t really change my view on Christmas or how I felt about Santa. I just knew at an early age that you needed to have money to buy presents and that was something my family didn’t have.
It really taught me to be thankful for what we do have. One day my mom came to me and was really happy for some reason. She said she was able to pay all the bills on time. I was young when she said this but I felt like it was Christmas when she said this.
The next Christmas that I remember so much I was about 11 and is was literally a Christmas miracle.
We were sitting at home on Christmas Eve. It felt like Christmas like always, warm and happy and without presents. Even though we didn’t have presents there was always a loving feeling at home during Christmas that I loved so much.
It was in the evening and there was a knock on the door. My mom opened the door and on the landing of our steps was a small Christmas tree and bags of unwrapped presents. A woman with long gray hair waved bye and said merry Christmas as she got back in her car and drove away. She had other people with her but I couldn’t make out who the people where and certainly where they came from.
I asked my mom who she was and mom didn’t know. I was so happy that day and it felt so good to get presents.
When I look back and think about that day I honestly believe those people where angels sent by god.
I never really believed in Santa, I don’t feel bad that I didn’t because I believe in something way bigger than Santa Claus, God.