How horseback riding changed my life in more ways than one

You wouldn’t know it if you looked at me now but I came into the world a little too early – three weeks, to be exact – and as a result, I suffered from weak core strength that took a long time to catch up to my peers. In first grade, I would lean on the girl next to me in circle time (sorry, Annalee!) and I got tired quickly if I had to sit unsupported or stand for too long. I tried sensory integration therapy and swimming to get stronger, but it wasn’t much.

It was even more frustrating to be weak when my older brother was good at sports like football and Tae Kwon Do. I really wanted to find a sport I excelled at, my brother had his thing and I wanted my own. My mom heard that horseback riding was good for building core muscles, so she set up a trial lesson. From the second my seat hit the saddle, I was hooked. I could not stop smiling and I knew I had found “my thing.” Ten years later, I’m the proud owner of an American Saddlebred horse and I compete in horse shows around the northeast. Along the way, I experienced some struggles but I learned a lot. Horseback riding has made me a stronger person, mentally and physically.

I was only 9 when I had that first ride and began lessons three times a week. I made quick progress with Karen, my first trainer and within a year I was competing in shows. But things changed when Karen left for another job and the barn owner began training me. She interpreted my physical weakness as laziness and she was often harsh, even verbally abusive. At a big show, she cursed at me for tangling my reins, instead of calming me down. 

That’s when my parents moved me to Scussell Farm. With the owner, Ann, I learned to advocate for myself and communicate better with the horse. I rediscovered how horse shows could be exciting rather than stressful. I started riding with joy rather than dread. Being taught by someone who understood and encouraged me made all the difference.

As I got better at riding, it became clear that I needed my own horse, rather than continue riding lesson horses in the shows. I knew about a non-profit horse rescue in Blairstown, New Jersey and felt strongly about adopting a horse that needed a home, rather than buying an expensive show horse. On a cold day in February 2013, we went to Saddlebred Rescue to “audition” horses. The process was like Goldilocks trying porridge.

The first horse was very sweet but not challenging enough. The second horse was rowdy, too advanced for me at the time. The third horse was a big, copper-colored gelding with a Jersey-shaped white marking on his forehead. I stood in front of him and we looked at each other in the eye for a long moment. Something just clicked. I hugged him around the neck and he squeezed his head down on my shoulders. I knew he was the right choice, even before I rode him. The rescuers had named him J’Adorable but we called him J.D. for short. It was the beginning of a great partnership.

By this time, my legs and core had strengthened and I was riding for fun rather than therapy. Partnering with J.D. was exciting but we quickly faced a test. I wanted to advance to cantering in horse shows, not just trotting, and J.D. and I couldn’t get in sync. Often I was so frustrated in lessons that I just had to dismount. My trainer made me see I was passing my frustration on to my horse, who could only do what he thought I was telling him to do.

I felt even worse when we discovered J.D. had an infected hoof that required two months of stall rest; he had been trying to please his rider despite his pain.  The road back from injury was tough and included one excruciating show where I couldn’t get him to canter on command. With hard work, we had a perfect class at the same competition a year later. J.D. and my trainer taught me more about perseverance than I had ever learned before. 

Just as I helped J.D. recover from his bad hoof, the following year, he helped me get through a bout of depression that caused me to miss nine weeks of school. While I was receiving treatment, I was still able to ride J.D. There is something calming about spending time with a horse. Our silent communication helped me find my way back from a dark place and our deeper connection translated to better performances in the ring.

My horse has taught me perseverance, focus and respect. At the barn, I learned that you have to do the grunt work before you hit the spotlight. At the ring, I learned that reaching goals is more important than winning ribbons. I learned how to lose gracefully and support my team members. In the beginning, I just wanted to be physically stronger but I developed an inner strength from horseback riding that I never expected.