Gifts to please

By Matt Donato
December 8, 2005

Sick and tired of the old, mundane Christmas presents that are given to you year after year by your grandparents? Well my friends, there are gifts that are at the opposite end of the spectrum than those dreaded Christmas ties or the all too embarrassing snowflake sweater.

At everythingsmells.com, they have taken the whole fragrance idea to a new level. One of their newest items is something for that funky smelling person on your list. They have come out with a line of chocolate-scented shirts. For $39 you can get that foul pal smelling fine a few days out of the month. It will work in both of your favors. Even if you do not want to get them a shirt everythingsmells.com has a plethora items to keep them smelling a-o-k.

How about a farting toilet paper cover for that comedian on your list. For just $14.95 you will receive a plastic butt-shaped toilet paper dispenser cover that emits a realistic fart noise every time that jokester goes to wipe himself. You will be in your friend’s mind even at the most awkward of times. What more could you ask for?

Or maybe you are looking for a gift for that terrible dancer on your list. No, no don’t go out and get them tango lessons; there is a much cheaper solution. With a measly $23.95, you can get those Elaine Benes copycats a chance to dance like a star with the Napoleon Dynamite: Learn to Dance Kit. This all-star kit includes a dance mat with all the steps outlined for you to be as good as Napoleon. There is also a how-to poster included and an audio CD so that you never miss a beat. Give your friends the chance to be a star.

You can’t forget about those nerds on your list either and there is something clever just for them. How about an officially licensed collectable lightsaber? What more would that special nerd want other than being able to rock a lightsaber like his idol. For a mere $100 these collectables come in different colors for the different Jedis. They have Luke Skywalker (green), Anakin Skywalker (blue), Mace Windu (purple) and Darth Vader (red). Let your nerd relive the action in the films at any time they feel the need.

Don’t let those smelly, comical, non-dancing nerds take over your Christmas shopping this holiday season. These are just a few ideas, but with a little thought you will be able to find anything for anyone.

Loquitur welcomes your comments on this story. Please send your comments to: Loquitur@yahoogroups.com. The editors will review your points each week and make corrections if warranted.

Posted to the web by Brandon Edwards

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Matt Donato

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