Video produced by: Jill Nawoyski, AJ Shopa and Drew Vernon
I, like many millennials, am a product of failed relationships, and I am stronger because of it.
When I was two, my parents got a divorce. This is something that today I am so thankful for because without the divorce, I would not have been blessed with my four siblings.
Since that first divorce, I have been through two others. In total I have been through three divorces.
Honestly, I would not be who I am today if it was not for those difficult times. There are two ways of looking at everything. Either you can think that in some way it is the cause of all the negativity in your life, which would not be entirely false, or you can choose to move forward and think about all the things you have learned from life through the divorce. I chose to look at life in a greater sense. I am always looking to be the best person I can be and create a future that looking back on later, I will be proud of. Yes, I get stuck in moments where I cannot help but think about what life would be like now if the divorces never happened, but then I would not have the people in my life today.
I hold no anger in my heart or blame my parents for the decisions that they made. All that I wanted is for my siblings to never go through what I did, but I had no control over that.
Divorce is something that can ruin lives or make them better. Even though there were times when I was always upset, I can finally say that it only made me more relentless and compassionate. When you grow up with divorced parents, you automatically feel alone, regardless of how hard your parents try to make it normal for you, because others are not going through what you are.
I understand that feeling very well, but it took me until college to realize that I’m actually not alone. I used to have panic attacks about my future, because with divorce there is never a certainty of what your future will be like.
And honestly, I refuse to let myself go through it again.
I have been dating my boyfriend for six years and so logically it makes sense when people ask me if I think we will get married, but I still get so frustrated whenever the question is asked.
I, like many others who have experienced divorce, can tell you that when it comes to marriage, it is way more serious. We, the millennial generation, in my opinion, are more accepting of having children without being married and getting a divorce, but the notion of actually getting a divorce if you have already been through one is much more difficult.
According to Pew Research, “millennials (like older adults) place parenthood and marriage far above career and financial success. But they aren’t rushing to the altar.”
Millennials are in no way rushing to have children and just having a happy marriage is important.
According to Pew Research, “Three-in-ten Millennials say having a successful marriage is one of their most important life goals.”
The divorces of my family have not only given me a greater understanding and appreciation for love, but more respect for those who have successful relationships.
Well-written and thoughtful article. Really gave me an understanding of how divorce affects children. The author has chosen the high road and makes herself stronger through the adversity.