I just received an e-mail from a classmate inviting me to “50 Nights!!!”
For those who are familiar with “50 Nights,” you know that it is just another reason for college students to go out to the local pub, drink lots, and get – for lack of a better word – trashed.
But for me, that e-mail is more of a shock than anything else.
Yes, the 50 stands for only 50 more nights until the Class of 2007 graduates. That’s my class. To think that my college career is over in countable days is beyond me. So here I sit reminiscing about the past four years of my life and pondering if I am ready for the real world.
I am a senior and I graduate in May – May 20 to be exact.
When I entered as a freshman, the campus looked completely different. Everyone I met seemed to have a purpose and a direction, except me. I would talk to my classmates and roommates about what they were studying; they all had a set plan of their future. One roommate was set on being a nurse, and the other wanted to do something in communications.
I was undeclared for my first two years. I thought, “I’m sorry, but I have no idea what I’d like to do with my life, I’m only 17!”
Three years after walking into the world of college, I find myself walking out of it; boy, is it a scary thought. Not only is it scary, but sad too. All of the time I spent in the igloo of my peers has made me comfortable with my life in college. But now it’s a you’re-on-your-own mentality.
Of course I have a much better sense of what I’d like to do and where I’d like to be now. I walk on campus and I am now one of those people with direction. After taking communication courses, I decided that English and communication would be my best fit.
I guess that’s what college is all about, finding your direction. But the roads just get rockier yet again with graduation. Now it’s: “Find your own job, sell yourself, you can’t mess up, you can’t skip.” All I can think is: “Ummm, what is it that I want to do again? What are the steps I need to do to make it there?”
I find that I second-guess myself all the time. It’s a whirlwind of madness and anxiety, not to mention the fact that I am only trying to get through the last semester of classes without a huge dent in my GPA.
I am definitely ready to let go of the 8:15 a.m. classes, the all-nighters spent writing 10 pages on William Faulkner, the barely edible cafeteria slop and all the drama that never seemed to leave high school. Yet I don’t know if I can bear to leave my friends, professors and the whole atmosphere of Cabrini.
With all of this chaos in my life, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to attend “50 Nights!!!” and kick back a few before it’s too late and I have to grow up.