Buried in the Back pages

By Geri Lynn Utter
April 4, 2002

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

A 15-year-old girl was briefly suspended from school for casting an evil spell on one of her peers. Jamie Schoonover publically admitted to practicing witchcraft with her mother; but both Schoonover and her mother claim they would never use their knowledge of witchcraft to cast spells on people.
Colleen Harper, a transsexual who was once Schoonover’s biological father that now calls herself her mother said, “Casting spells isn’t something that just any novice is going to know how to do.”

AA All the Way

An 18-year-old boy successfully managed to make a clean get-away, after robbing a local convenience store for two-cases of beer. The only problem is, he forgot his car.
Chad Ramsden proceeded to contact the police by saying that the car the ‘robber’ left behind had been stolen. Authorities convinced Ramsden to return to the store and clear up the matter. When Ramsden showed up at the store, witnesses identified him as the criminal and took him into custody. But, Ramsden persisted on telling the police that he really did not take anything.

Police Academy for Parole Violators

A convicted criminal wanted for violating his parole was picked up by authorities after applying for a job as a police officer.
Garry Harrison passed both the written and physical examination necessary to be a police officer; however when a routine background check was done, it was discovered that Garrison has been wanted since 1995 for a parole violation.

Bimbos Are Dumb

A psychologist from the University of Michigan has found physical evidence that bimbos are really dumb.
Barbara Frederickson stared that woman that wear revealing or tight clothes spend so much time worrying what they look like that their brains don’t have the ability to do much else.
Frederickson said, “Any clothing or circumstances that make a woman feel self-conscious about how she looks to others, even is she thinks she looks great, might reduce the mental energy she brings to demanding tasks, like solving advanced math problems.

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Geri Lynn Utter

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